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I Sometimes Wonder About Love

I sometimes wonder about love…

Not the physical kind that flutters away with a warm, passionate night.

The other kind… That deep rush of emotions that sates you and then overwhelms you, that makes you more alive than you’ve ever been, all the while threatening to kill you if it’s ever lost.

I sometimes wonder about love…

I’ve been in love three times, like really been in love. And every time, it took with it a chunk of your heart.

Blood pumps out, courses through my veins, up the brain and there becomes fuel for long, drawn-out thoughts about that one person at whose behest all neurons now fire.

I wonder sometimes about the difference between love and obsession. I wonder if one can truly love another and not be jealous at the thought that you might lose them to someone else.

I wonder about losing one’s heart in love, that traumatic end to things with someone who meant the world to you, those scars that never heal, that heart that after a few breaks is more scar than muscle, incapable of feeling, numb to all the joy this world has to offer.

I worry that when you give all of your heart to someone and love dies, you never really get all of it back.

I worry about limbo, that land of nothingness one is condemned to work through while you piece back what’s left of that raggedy, torn heart.

I worry that gradually, but eventually, from heartbreak to heartbreak, you’re all loved out, an empty vessel numb to all the joy that lives out there.

How many heartbreaks does it take until the heart is no longer open to love, no longer ready to trust, no longer ready to dream of a happily ever after?

And how – how – can something that feels so good hurt so bad?

However, in the end, I’m certain that the joy is worth the pain. For to truly have loved and truly have been loved is to truly have lived.

Written by Fortune

About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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One comment

  1. A heart is never truly open until it’s been broken.
    The truth of life is to Love yourself, love other people, honour and treasure relationships, (even though some of those relationships won’t last for whatever reason) and enjoy life.

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