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HUMOUR COLUMN: Wedding Gowns And Other Breaking News

Yesterday, the CBN announced the floating of the naira. This is good news and bad news. How? Well, if you look closely at the beginning of the movie, when Batman lost both his parents to a thief, you might have been tempted to think the movie would be good.

Instead, like the first paragraph you just read, it makes absolutely no sense. If you are one of those that listened in Economics class, kindly explain what the floating of the naira means in the comments section. Maybe Walter will even give you a column of your own – ‘The Naira Floats Like a Butterfly and Stings Like a Bee’.

Meanwhile, Samuel Eto’o and his wife got married two days ago on the 14th. Not married-married; they have been married since 2007. They simply had the white wedding yesterday, after 9 years, or is it 10? Their children are all grown up.

So my question is this: Why must there be a white wedding, either now or in two hundred years?

Who made the rules?

And why oh why is it so important to the woman to wear that white wedding gown?

My fellow women, I need your opinion here.

If the legalities are done in court, why do we still insist on a white wedding? Is the ring not enough? Are the children not enough? The wedding certificate (or whatever it is you get) at the Marriage Registry is not enough? Why does it seem like our whole life hangs on that white gown we see in our dreams, and standing in the church?

I am interested in knowing.

Yes, the article is done. What else do you want? Answer my questions first. Then I will explain what the floating naira means for all of us.

(HINT: It is not a good thing.)

Written by Chika Jones, tweets @chika_jones

About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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  1. Udegbunam Chukwudi

    Yes oh. I’m very much interested in this floating the naira explanation with a day to day transaction scenario to boot.

  2. To your question, it is inexplicable.

    Now whaddaheck is Floating of the Naira?

  3. Women didn’t always wear white when they got married. In short they wore any colour they chose. White was made popular by Queen Victoria when she married her husband in the 19th century, since then it’s become the fad.

  4. Now whaddaheck is floating the naira

  5. Oya o, Mister or Missis Jones, you have multiple answers. Now tell us what floating the naira is.

  6. Summary: floating of the naira is bad news. Countries either allow market forces to determine the value of their currency in the Forex trade or they can fix it. Market forces have been pulling down on the naira but Buhari refused let it drop. Now he is letting it go and official rate will “float” downwards to 300 naira for a dollar or worse. And this time, he isn’t merely fixing it at a lower value, he is allowing the market to take it wherever it likes. we may even have 1000 naira per dollar. Lol!

  7. Chika Jones is female? “My fellow women”.

  8. I guess we just picked up the Western culture and it got stuck on us. Plus it doesn’t help that every little girl fantasizes about that white gown. ‘Hell hath no fury..’ doesn’t even begin to describe a woman who is denied this fantasy. *smile*

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