Home / The Humour Column (page 5)

The Humour Column

HUMOUR COLUMN: The Nigerian Hit Song That Outsells Tuface And Wizkid

Nigerians are a lenient lot, way too tolerant. Centuries of learning to make do, despite years of abuse and neglect, has made us very accommodating and tolerant of underperformance and mediocrity. A Nigerian could hire you to come set up the outdoor canopies for one of the many numerous occasions ...

Read More »

HUMOUR COLUMN: Things I’ve Learned From Buhari’s Rule So Far

The past week has been revealing. Here are a few things the first few days of Buhari’s rule has taught me. Change is still scarce in Nigeria, in every way. Now we know why the former president, Olusegun Obasanjo named his book ‘My Watch’. That man is psychic on so ...

Read More »

HUMOUR COLUMN: Letter To The White Man That Explains The Fuel Scarcity

Dear White Friend, I will first of all thank you for being a true friend to me, despite the highly probable odds that I am trying to defraud you, like most of my kinsmen. I salute your bravery. For the past five days, I know you have been trying desperately ...

Read More »

HUMOUR COLUMN: Much Ado About President Jonathan

On the 30th of May 2015, President Jonathan will go home. This particular event will make headlines in our major newspapers, unless of course Shekau is killed again, or the Chibok girls are found again. Now, I go home every day, except on those days when I spend the entire ...

Read More »

HUMOUR COLUMN: Ten Interesting Facts About Lagos

Here are ten things you should know about modern-day Lagos. In the past three days, the traffic jams in Lagos have been legendary. Many proper Lagosians will look at that first sentence like an anthropologist would regard a strange insect, like, ‘What does this person mean by – in the ...

Read More »

HUMOUR COLUMN: The One About The Yorubas

Of all the ethnic tribes in Nigeria, of which I know only four: Igbo, Yoruba, Hausa and Delta Igbo (my Social Studies teacher back then assured me there are many more tribes in Nigeria; I still think he lied), my favorite tribe is the Yoruba. You have to love the ...

Read More »

HUMOUR COLUMN: The One About The Rich

A few weeks ago, an argument broke out on my twitter timeline. Now, for those of you who do not know, I follower twitter arguments with the same level of seriousness that Olympic contestants follow their training regimen. This particular argument was between two people who had attended the same ...

Read More »

HUMOUR COLUMN: An Exclusive Interview With President Jonathan

So I recently had an interview with President Goodluck Jonathan, and here are the five reasons he gave as to why he’s handing over on the May 28 But before I go into the interview, I have something important to tell you. I do not attend burials as a matter ...

Read More »

HUMOUR COLUMN: The Apology

When I wrote my first piece for the Humor Column, I loved the response I got. So I kept on writing. Week after week, I would sit in front of my computer and try to wring some humour out of the drudgery of daily existence. Sometimes I succeeded; other times, ...

Read More »

HUMOUR COLUMN: Five Signs He Will Dump You After Some Time

So these days, Nigeria is rife with the news of people getting dumped, and despite what the feminists may have you believe, most of the time, which is the same thing as 100 percent of the time, it is the ladies that get dumped. I think there is something in ...

Read More »