Now you have to understand that sexual harassment is not just an art mastered by the men folk alone. Animals have also gained mastery in that area. Lol. You don’t believe me?
Okay. Get this then.
I had a dog, of the Alsatian breed, Krystal. He was the most playful dog ever. He grew from an adorable puppy to this intimidating beast. He used to have a thing for me whenever I wore shorts or a wrapper tied around my waist. Anytime he saw me in any of those attires, he’d grab me from behind and start humping away. Sometimes he’d just grab my left leg and hump silliness into the air.
Now what do you call that if not sexual harassment? Eh? I haff suffer.
It is worthy however to note that most people who sexually harass other people have a similar mindset with a bully. Their high comes from the fact that they are in control and can get the next person to fold or do their bidding without any consequences to them. It took me lots of interface with the experience to know this. You could be at a funeral and everybody is crying and mourning and you are fighting off your tears and hiding your blood-shot eyes behind dark shades, then one ‘uncle’ who you see on the TV commissioning one water project or transformer walks up to you to whisper into your ear that the way you sobbed by the graveside gave him a hard on.
Upon hearing this, you’d proceed to take a look at yourself in your long black dress with a hijab-like scarf, and ask yourself what gave you away. How is this one your fault again? You and this man know that he is very ‘happily’ married and he played chess with your dad when you were in primary school. What do you even begin to say to such a man?
Then you panic and leave the area earlier than you planned to. But he doesn’t stop there. He starts to call you on the phone. How did he get your number? Haba! He is a family friend na. Your mum could have given him your number when he innocently said he had a business contact for you. He calls you on the phone like there is no tomorrow. All of a sudden, from “Please be my girlfriend…I will buy you a car and hire two drivers for you…”, it degenerates to “What insult! You should count yourself lucky that I want to ‘friend’ you! I want to take care of you and you are dulling! Mscheeww!”
And you wonder how perhaps this ‘uncle’ must have exchanged his conscience for kuli-kuli.
But then, there’s the question of what you are to do with him. Report him to his wife? Report him to your mum? He is not the only ‘uncle’ who has come at you like this, especially since you’d recently learned about face beat and you are on point these days with concealer and highlights.
This is what thousands of women face on a daily basis in our society, at work, on the street, in our neighborhoods, amongst family members etc. it is unfair really. Sadly, many women fold on daily basis. They are used and trashed almost immediately. Some of these women felt they were helpless or didn’t have a choice. There are some who couldn’t and didn’t fold to get what they wanted. So how did they get what they wanted?
That is the question.
TO BE CONTINUED
Written by Bells