It is funny how I always end up getting into deep shit that ‘normal people’ don’t get into. Sometimes I feel like my life has been a series of unfortunate events. From bad to worse, like I spend days preparing for a test and I make a terrible mistake that costs me that coveted A, or a boy likes me, I encourage him, give him the cookie too fast and have him not call me back. (By the way, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with giving your cookie out early. Life is too short!)
I hate how thoughts of my ‘unlucky-ness’ keeps me up at night. Not sleeping well makes my eyes pop and my eye bags mightily huge and sagging like the untended midriff of a middle-aged man in bad shape. I wake up after turning and tossing, thinking about how unlucky I am, and then I go about with freaking sunk-in eyes, which does nothing for my looks. (Ladies, y’all should please help with home remedies on how to reduce eye bags. Google has been useless)
Things that people easily get, I find myself working extra hard to grasp. Things are always so difficult for me. Like why can’t I be an extremely beautiful woman that’s so freaking book-smart, hmm? All I’m stuck with are average looks and an even more average brain. It is annoying. People tell me it’s my mind set. I think so too sometimes. But at other times, I think it’s bullshit. I study extra hard for a freaking test, make a mistake that cost me the high score, and it’s my freaking mindset? Well done, mind! Clap for yaself.
Sometimes, I feel like the universe is messing with me. I work so hard, so damn hard, and I don’t get the desired results. It’s depressing. I know I’m coming off as a negative-minded woman battling some serious low self-esteem, but trust me, I have tried to be positive and think highly of myself. But I can’t help think that the universe is just out to get me. They say I’m taking a bad day as a bad life. Well, hello, wear my shoes and see how you like it!
I hope it turns out fine like it always does in the end, because I’m tired, so tired of being so unlucky. Maybe I should go for deliverance. I’m a Nigerian. I’m sure a pastor somewhere will be only too glad to “bind and cast” this spirit of unlucky-ness forthwith from me. Hopefully something great happens soon so I can for once say how lucky I am.
Written by Epi