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The TV Moments We’d All Being Waiting For Finally Came

This is going to be a spoiler-sprinkled, mega review/recap/rant of the season premieres of Scream Queens, Empire and the #TGIT line-up – that is Scandal and How To Get Away With Murder (No Grey’s Anatomy). So if you haven’t seen the episodes and you detest spoilers, then I suggest you leave while you can. If you haven’t seen the episodes but you don’t mind spoilers, well feel free to enjoy. And if you have seen the episodes, then by all means read on and lets ki-ki.

SCREAM QUEENSD Scream QueensI remember someone asking if they should watch the show, and I told them that this was a show tailored for a particular audience. If you enjoyed the Scream movies, then this is for you. It’s a horror comedy. It’s not to be taken seriously. It’s silly, and bodies will drop like flies, and the characters will fell very little remorse, if any. Having said that, this was an okay series premiere.

So basically, there is a serial killer who it would seem is hunting down members of the KKT sorority house. The premiere does well in setting the tone of the series by letting us know right off the bat that we shouldn’t take any of it too seriously.

Emma Roberts was made for her role. She embodied that college Queen Bee bitch persona and slew everything. Her one-liners left me gagging at times. Jamie Lee Curtis, as the dean of the college, is already faboo, so there was no surprise there.

The surprise though for me was Ariana Grande’s character; her “text murder” with the serial killer had me rolling on the floor, laughing. It was classic and is definitely going down as some of the best stuff I have seen on a TV show. I mean, she gets stabbed, and then somehow scampers across the floor and types a tweet about being attacked, and then gets stabbed again, and then dies, but then revives for a second to hit “Enter” to send the tweet, then dies for sure. Classic stuff!

And then there is Niecy Nash’s security guard character. *sigh* Perfect casting much? Everything that came out of her mouth was comedy gold.

Nick Jonas’s character’s twist at the ending wasn’t much of a shock for me, because, well, I have always found off-screen kills to be a red herring. *side-eyes Game of Thrones‘ Brienne and Stannis Lannister* Here is the thing though; Nick plays a gay character. Now, I don’t want any of that gay-by-mouth-baiting crap that was on his other show, Kingdom. I need him to have someone to make out with! Anything! Give me something I can work with, damnit! But the show gets a pass for that montage of him working out. Just this once!

All in all, it was a good two-hour premiere. Exactly what I thought it would be, even though it was all over the place trying to do everything at once.

Best Character in Episode: Ariana Grande’s Chanel Number 2. She didn’t have much to do before she was offed, but her comedic timing was a welcome surprise.

Favourite Quote: “I’m gonna slap you so hard, your tampon’s gonna fall out.” – ZayDay Williams

Best Scene: When the Nick Jonas’ character, Boone’s supposedly heterosexual frat buddies found his dead body and yelled like a couple of girls while clutching their pearls. iDied!

Rating: 5/10. Had some funny parts but seemed unfocused. Hopefully, it gains some balance and gives more stuff to its supporting players to do, especially Keke Palmer’s ZayDay and Lea Michelle’s Hester.

 

HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDERD HTGAWMIf you were expecting Murder to draw out the reveal for Rebecca’s murderer Season-one-style, then think again. Peter Nowalk doesn’t do repetitive basic writing like that, no-no. Instead, he tells you who killed her, and then drops a flash-forward that’s sure to make you frantically grab that oxygen tank beside you to enable you breathe. Yeah, that’s how he rolls.

So Murder came back with a bang. Literally. The usual time-mazy-thing was back this season, but not as heavy as last season. The fact that we aren’t stuck in one time for too long is what makes Murder so thrilling. We get little details and peeks into the past, the present and the future all in one episode, leaving the viewer a little rattled. It’s a nice trick and requires sharp, smart writing, because one tiny misstep and we have a huge plot hole. They’ve done well so far though.

We get Oliver and Connor scenes that melt my chilly little heart. I ship them so hard. Connor is making giant strides as a person; you can tell he truly cares for Oliver.

Michaela really does need a functioning gaydar though; home-girl can’t get a break, the poor thing.

Asher is being Asher, but then he is going to bite more than he can chew.

Laurel continues to surprise me. I maintain my stance that she is the smartest of the Keating Five. She is the first to figure out that Rebecca is dead. That girl is dangerous, I tell you guys. Dangerous!

And then there is Wes. Who else’s jaw dropped to the floor when he talked back and was serving attitude to Annalise in class? I mean, she asked a question and called out to Wes to answer and homeboy said, “PASS”, while looking her in the eye! She said, “I am not Professor Hawn. No one passes in my class.” And guess what homeboy said? “I just did.” Someone please get his obituary started. It was nice knowing you, Wes.

And as all that is going on, we get a reveal that Annalise and Jean Grey from the X-Men franchise (Famke Jansen) were LUVAHHHSSS! *sigh*

This was a great way to start the season, with that same intensity the finale ended on.

Best Character in Episode: Bonnie – I mean, did you see the way she duck-taped Rebecca’s mouth, and then goes ahead to tie the leather bag on her head like a shoelace, and then she looks into the distance so coldly as Rebecca gasps for air?! Such precision! I bet this wasn’t her first time. Ptueh!

Favourite Quote: “White folks always bringing up stuff when it suits them, but not when it matters.” – Nate

Best Scene: Michaela hitting on the gay dude in the bar. Classic!

Rating: 8/10

 

EMPIRED EmpireNow Empire has not always been the best show, but love it or hate it, it’s the hottest and most talked about show right now.

And this season, it would seem it’s continuing that trend. First off, what was that bit with having Taraji’s Cookie in a Gorilla costume? No, seriously, what was that?!

My first laugh-out-loud moment was when Jamal said to Cookie during the ‘Free Lucious’ concert that Bill Clinton was in the audience, and she said, “Well he better be if he wants his wife to get elected.” I really Died! It was sort of a call-back to Luscious’ phone call to Obama in Season 1, after Hakeem disrespected the POTUS. I have always loved the show’s silliness.

The music at the concert was okay, but I couldn’t enjoy it with all the celebrity cameos being shoved in my face. Big mistake, Empire. Big Mistake.

Frank Gathers was such a huge shadow over Cookie and her family last season. I mean, they created this gangster character in our heads, and then they went right ahead and casted Chris Rock as the dangerous gangster we are supposed to be terrified off. Seriously – Chris Rock!!! Now this was through no fault of Rock’s that his performance wasn’t believable. This was a simple miscast, and if this is what we should expect from all the guest stars they have lined up this season, then I fear for all of us.

If HTGAWM has smart, sharp writing, then the opposite is for Empire, whose writing is sloppy and amateurish at best. I mean, I get that this is a soap opera, but seriously, enough with the lazy writing. You have a sort-of talented cast, give them worthy material to work with.

Surely I can’t be the only one that doesn’t buy Jamal’s switch in loyalty. Surely! Now, I am not saying that his switching sides isn’t within the realms of possibility. I’m just saying that it was handled poorly and lazily. His current attitude is out of character, and when a character does something that is out of character, the writing had better slowly take us through the motions of how and why something like that would happen. Empire hasn’t done that with Jamal. So I don’t buy it. You don’t just go from being the sweet son to the son who kicks the only parent (and most likely the only family member) that’s always been in your corner out of “your” house with the flick of a wrist. I didn’t buy the switch last season, and I am not buying it this season.

Same thing with his love life… I mean, when did Dora get back into his life? Last I checked, they were broken up. Couldn’t they have shown us how they made up? Lazy writing, Empire. Very lazy!

The highlight of the episode was Lucious’ handling of Frank Gathers. I wasn’t a fan of how quickly such a supposedly dangerous character was knocked off, but I liked how it was handled.

And I know the head in the box was supposed to be Cookie’s cousin’s head, but can we get a close-up shot next time someone sends Cookie a head in a box from PRISON!!!

PS: Who saw the low key shade Cookie threw at 50cent and his show, Power? lol.

Best Character in Episode: Luscious – his interaction with the prosecutor was fun to watch, and I am looking forward to more of that chemistry. His handling of Frank Gathers was also bad-ass. Terrence Howard did good work in this episode.

Favourite Quote: “You can’t even dyke right.” – Cookie to Anika

Best Scene: When Cookie walked into the board meeting for the hostile takeover and said, “Hey sister gurl” to the black lady, who couldn’t believe this was happening again.

Anika twerking was also a delight to watch.

Rating: 4/10. Entertaining as usual, but featured very sloppy writing that can’t be overlooked.

SCANDALD ScandalShonda Rhimes had promised that this season was going to feature our gladiators going back to doing what they do best – gladiating. And so I was cautiously optimistic going into the Season 5 premiere.

We open with a classic Sally Langston rant (I love her by the way); this is shown side by side with Fitz and Olivia engaging in some sweet, sweet loving. *rolling my eyes*

The case of the week featured royals, a cheeky wink to the British Royalty, I assume. It was a compatible enough case, but it wasn’t meant to be the shocking or entertaining part of the episode. It was merely a plot device to show our players slowly getting back their gladiating groove back. It was nice to see Olivia and mostly Quinn back handling a scandal that wasn’t theirs. Huck was still out of the game following his murderous rampage last season, and we get to see him all broken down. That’s one storyline I know I am not going to enjoy.

The Fitz-Olivia affair though has gotten quite hard for me to root for as the seasons have progressed, and this is largely due to Fitz’s treatment of Mellie. Now Mellie is no saint herself, and she can be a cold stone bitch. In fact one of the highlights of the episode was the new chief of staff to the president, Lizzie reading Mellie her rights! But I maintain that Mellie has never deserved the treatment she keeps getting from Fitz, and the shittier he treats her, the more he looks like a selfish douche-bag, instead of a helpless man in love who we can root for.

This seemed to be another basic episode with classic Olitz (Olivia-Fitz) drama, and of course Olivia and her team got some semblance of justice, and the case was handled and blah-blah-blah. And I was unimpressed right up till the last few minutes that featured what would be a game changer for the series. That’s right, people – the cats out of the bag…again!

Olivia and Fitz’s affair has been outted to the public again, and this time there are photos! And of course it was up to no one else but Sally Langston to break the story. lol. Sally sef, Imma pretend like I have forgotten that you killed your husband and covered it up, while you sit on your moral high ground.

Oh, and she has a source in the white house. I wonder who that is. At this point, almost all the characters know about Olivia and Fitz. Pretty sure the gateman to the white house knows too. That’s how horrible they are at keeping this secret. But then, who has the most to gain from the secret getting out? I would say Mellie, but that would be too obvious. Anyways, here’s to hoping that this outing – unlike the one in the Season 2 finale – sticks!

Best Character in Episode: Lizzie – It was nice to see her flex her muscles and show off some of her newfound power. I never warmed up to the character in the previous season, so hopefully, she keeps this momentum going.

Sally Langston – I am always down for a nice Sally Langston monologue. They are classic and always leave me laughing. I enjoyed every single one of her scenes. More Sally please.

Favourite Quote: “Your biggest accomplishment so far is waving and smiling.” – Fitz to Mellie

Best Scene: When Olivia let Fitz know that divorcing Mellie and taking their affair public isn’t the best move. Kerry Washington killed her monologue here. Good stuff.

Rating: 6/10: Would have been nothing special but for those final few minutes.

Written by Deola


About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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16 comments

  1. shakespeareanwalter

    HTGAWM totally gave me life! Kai! Came with the same speed of delight as Season 1. And Deola, you’re right. Michaela really can’t catch a dating break. That part in the bar was a scene that cracked me up.

    Michaela: ‘So, um, do you work nearby or are you staying at the hotel?
    Male stranger: ‘I work nearby.’
    M: ‘Nice. What do you do?’
    MS: ‘Men. I’m gay, and I can tell you’re hitting on me, which is really flattering. Believe me, I’d be all about you if I were into women.’
    M: ‘Ahan! Go away now!’

    LMAO!

  2. Empire! LAZY WRITING! God! How is this show still so popular? How come no one has seen that it’s not at all a magnetic show? What odieshi is Lee Daniels using to blind everybody? Because this season premiere just showed me that it will be no different from Season 1.
    ION: Cookie is still making me love the show. ‘You can’t even dyke right.’ Oh that quip was everything! 😀

  3. And people’s internet connections have already started burning up! lol

  4. Very interesting analysis I must say.

    I’ve always known empire isn’t the best of series. Its just been the hype that’s keeping it up there. HTGAWM and Scandal does it far better for me. The songs, Jamal’s rejected queer son story, and cookie’s craziness are what I think keeps most people going. But I still love how the series is a mishmash of almost everything that is black american; Entertainment, Drugs, Homophobia, Religion and Prison. I think the producers and writers have a social message in mind as their main focus. And true, Jamal’s character switch really needs more explanans in that series. All the explanation for the make-up was given at the dining convo. I’m fine with that..

    I love sally Langston. I always did. I want to see mellie come out as the winner in all of this. That woman is being repeatedly insulted by a man she’s done so much for. Imagine his guts telling her all she does is wail and smile. Gaddemmit! Huck’s psychopathy has always been a bore. They need to scrap that shit. I can’t wait to see command again. That man’s rhetoric prowess is something else!

  5. Lordy Lord..*fans self* Thank you sooooo much… This just made my wait till the season finales much better….uhm is this going to be a regular thing.. Say yes pls

  6. Oh chim ooo. I know you said spoilers but haba, these are not spoilers, these are the entire shows.
    Since I’m always a binge watcher, I’ll wait as usual till all my shows end.
    So, back to the elephant in the room. Empire is beginning to suck? The wool is beginning to fall from your eyes? The jazz don dey wash off? Eh eh, tell me sontin, so the show get lazy writing? OK ooo, let us be waiting, shebi more episodes dey. When it comes crashing down, I’ll be here selling handkerchiefs.

    • Lool. I dont think there was ever any wool over my eyes when it comes to empire. I have always complained about the writing.
      But i have always defended that, its not a serious drama but a soap,, but considering they have gotten emmy recognition or at least cookie has, I was expecting them to take it up a higher level in terms of quality. This was just very poor.
      They are doing plot acrobatics with these characters, without proper preparation and they expect it to have a safe landing? Nah.

      A quick fact tho. Revenge also got an Emmy nomination for Madeline Stowe aka Victoria Grayson in its first season, and we all know how that ended. So here’s to watching how it all unfolds with Empire.

  7. oh my lawd “You can’t even dyke right.” omg, I just want to give Taraji a wet wet wet kiss. Bia Walter and Deola u guys better give me my money for my data, u made me interested in this movies.

  8. I’ve only watched just two; empire & murder. My entertainment threshold must be very low cos I really enjoyed empire only for you guys to split & dice it here.

  9. Men.. spot on. I only watch empire and scandal (started htgawm but the thing no sweet me. Maybe I should go back). Empire left me feeling like I missed about 3 episodes. And olitz is realllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy annoying…..

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