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The Worst Celebrity Breakups

Jason Derulo and Jordin SparksjasonderuloandjordansparkssplitAfter dating for almost three years, Jason Derulo ended his relationship with Jordin Sparks with a phone call last week. Derulo received so much flak from fans regarding the long-distance breakup that he actually did a round of press interviews to explain himself. He admitted he called it quits with Jordin “over the phone” because he “wasn’t in town.” Sparks took the phone call in stride, telling Kathie Lee Gifford, “I’m good, actually… I read this quote [yesterday], and it said, ‘When something unexpected happens in your life, or you think something bad happens, just say ‘Plot twist!’ and move on.'”

Joe Jonas and Taylor Swiftd45e1de0-4aa3-11e4-bb89-b18bf4a57919_Joe-Jonas-Taylor-SwiftTaylor Swift revealed that Joe Jonas unceremoniously dumped her with a super-short phone call in 2008. The Last Kiss singer told Ellen DeGeneres, “[The split] was, like, a record, I think, for how quick. I looked at the call log — it was like 27 seconds. That’s got to be a record.” Speaking of records, Swift’s gone on to pen many tunes that have been inspired by her love life. However, Joe insists that “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” is not about him.

Russell Brand and Katy Perrykaty-perry-and-russell-brand-pic-rex-features-370883533No joke: Comedian Russell Brand gave his wife of fourteen months, Katy Perry, the heave-ho by text message. “He’s a very smart man, and I was in love with him when I married him,” Perry told Vogue. “Let’s just say I haven’t heard from him since he texted me saying he was divorcing me December 31, 2011.”

Matt Damon and Minnie Driver1902699521_1Actress Minnie Driver learned she was no longer Matt Damon’s girlfriend about the same time as the rest of the world: During his 1998 appearance on Oprah when the actor said he was single. That was news to Driver, who had been dating her Good Will Hunting co-star for the past seven months. “It’s unfortunate that Matt went on Oprah,” she told the Los Angeles Times. “It seemed like a good forum for him to announce to the world that we were no longer together, which I found fantastically inappropriate.”

Kevin Federline and Britney Spearspeople-spears-federlineBritney Spears reportedly ended her tumultuous two-year marriage with her backup dancer Kevin Federline by text in 2006. K-Fed, who is the father of her two sons, apparently got the digital ax while taping an episode for a Canadian reality show where he gushed about his wife, calling her his “biggest fan,” until he got a text. “It was really weird because we were in conversation and everything was good and then all of a sudden… [he] went out and when he came back he looked like he’d seen a ghost,” revealed MuchMusic VJ Matte Babel.

Sylvester Stallone and Jennifer FlavinAFI FEST 2010 Presented By Audi - "Black Swan" Closing Night Gala - ArrivalsTalk about a Rocky relationship. When Sylvester broke up with Jennifer Flavin, he notified her with a message delivered by Federal Express. “He sent me a six-page handwritten letter, in pen,” the model told People in 1994. “It was pretty sloppy.” Despite the messy writing, it was clear her boyfriend of over five years was having an affair, and wanted to split up. But let’s just say that letter wasn’t written in stone. The two eventually married in 1997 and have three children together.

Billy Bob Thornton and Laura Dern20Billy-Bob-Thornton-1Billy Bob Thornton’s 2002 split with actress Laura Dern was particularly cruel. Dern, who lived with Thornton in L.A., found out that her beau of three years had left her for Angelina Jolie in the harshest way possible. “I left our home to work on a movie, and while I was away, my boyfriend got married, and I’ve never heard from him again,” the actress told Talk magazine.


About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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3 comments

  1. Jordin is a nice girl, she’ll get a better man!

  2. In KFed’s case; I’d say he had it coming alright! After dumping his 7month old pregnant girlfriend and hooking up with Brittany in the manner he did, I say tough luck! His ex musta been gyrating when that news broke! Yeye guy was looking for a ‘ladder’ abi ‘scaffolding’ to launch his wack rap career into mainstream ‘stardomsphere’! I think he thinks himself Eminem or better still, ‘Vanilla Ice’! Yeye boy! Wack MC! LMAO!

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