My friend, Nene Ezike, updated the following in a Facebook post that was so hilariously scathing, I simply had to share. Check on it below and let us know your thoughts in the comments section.
Dear Average “Christian” Nigerian Patient,
Here’s how it works. Note this and follow the order strictly so you don’t sound silly when you visit the doctor again.
- You are ill or notice an odd sign or symptom. See your doctor or a qualified doctor at least.
- TELL doctor the TRUTH. Who else you wan open up to before? Daddy G.O.? Please.
- Have a discussion with the doctor on tests and treatment plans. Don’t assume. Assumption is the least form of intelligence.
- Follow the doctor’s instructions. Strictly. Do all tests, take all medications. In their right doses too. Very important.
- PRAY the system works. Very important, also.
Please, follow these guidelines strictly. It works, I assure you. Don’t come to me. I AM NOT A DOCTOR. I only diagnose. I don’t treat. Don’t collect your result and tell me it is not ya portion. Shebi na my portion ni? If I hear…
Most importantly, do your annual checks. Things are picked up early that way. Don’t wait until you are down before coming to ask me, “Eh, Madam, which test should I do?” I don’t do shortcuts and you may not like my answer.
Finally, when in doubt, ask your doctor questions.
Concerned Nigerian Health Worker who is completely tired of crap.