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The Kano Linguist’s Hilarious Open Letter To President Buhari

This was originally published on kingkingsley.wordpress.com. After having a good laugh, I simply had to share. Read below and sound off in the comments section.

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I am an introvert personality. I am not someone with a leaking vocal coordination that is going about spewing banal articulations. When I see something stupid I immediately unsee because my intelligent is far above stupidities and passion. I cannot be seeing myself dancing to every wind and caprices. I am the dogonyaro tree that withstand every airforce.

Before I continuous, I must give spoiler alert. I am a grammatical ability and sometimes my words only dictionary can carry it especially when I am vexed. Beer with me because I cannot bring it to your level, just look at somebody who is linguistically violent to be interpretation my vocabulary conundrum. Ah ha!

I have confessed to my introvert naturalism but I have come to decide to speak out. The issues in the national tea cup has entered a dangerous atmosphere. In lay man’s terminus, we are under suffering. No electricity, no fuel, no job, no money, no anything.

Why is this happens under change? This is not what we bargains for during campaign. When Buhari he comes and jingle campaign promises like traffic jam. The promises he have denied them. Because the promise is APC promised not his personally. But people voted because of this billboard of five thousand to unemployed, of two million jobs of school children feedback. Now all of them denied or detained.

The only promise attained is fighting corruption. But this is absolute propaganda. Because not single naira enter our economy. You are fighting corruption but you are borrowing Made in China money. This is inconsequential intangibility. For my opinionated wisdom, corruption is when somebody enter NNPC filling station and buy fuel 400 naira.

We are tired. Stop blaming Fashola or Kachikwu. I did not casting one vote for Fashola nor Kachikwu. I cast you my vote, remember Kano cast you 1.9 million vote. So don’t insult our excess sense organs. And nobody to tell me nonsense of exercise patience. One year is not one week. You cannot hold one year wastage and expect to successfully incarnate your destination. Is first year suffering constitutional? Is go slow government the cultural manifest? Then why the bastardisation of the masses? Because the rich are getting richer while the poor are trekking and sipping garri without no sugar.

Some people are stupid to be saying we better to buy fuel 400 naira than blood shedding all the time. But is it a crime for us to have everything that every normal country have. Look at Niger Republic, we give them independence but they have peace, fuel and light. But some people want peace in exchange for cutthroat economy. Some people must go back to school.

That is one. On the issue of Fulani frequency fighting all over Nigeria is something that must be put to a stoppage. I enter Facebook, somebody he posted the fear of Fulani headsmen is the beginning of wisdom. I feel bad about that testament. My mother is Fulani. Even you the president is Fulani. So you must ensure that peaceful coexistence thrift among all and asunder. People that kill castles and people that kill somebody must be bought to book. Otherwise Nigeria will fall apart and men anarchy will be loosed upon the society.

On the aspect of your frequency traveling in the overseas is not good. Because money is burning in the jet, because it’s not swimming you use to travel or inside horseback. It’s kerosene you put in your jet and meandering in the wilderness of somewhere. Obasanjo when he presiding this country partitioned more than 70 countries, but Nigeria he worst after Obasanjo come down. It is not traveling, traveling, traveling. Sometimes you put credit in your waya and call Japan or you send your deputy or a minister.

That remembrance me of your deputy who come to Kano and people are abusing him shouting “bamuso, bamayi” and some people carry sign board with the subscription “no food, no fuel, no money”. Somebody even throw something stronger than aya. This is just the tip of the ice bank of frustration. If it happenstance in Enugu or Port Harcourt, they will say 5% noise. But if we Kanawa complain, then it is really a hopelessly situation. This is the typing on the wall for this administration. Sit up.

On the issue of Boko Haram, you have tried your common best to uproot the enigma of their barbarism. But some people can never accepting the defeatism of Boko Haram because of Chibok girls. Until they return all the Chibok hostages. And we’re hearing one girl see in Cameroon, one girl carrying suicide cartridges. Too much confusion. I secretly suggestions you secretly negotiations with Boko Haram to release as much girls as possible. But inside public looks, you bone your face marrow and threaten the use of forceful. That is how American CIA using tactics, they bone but they go behind the curtain and pay top dollars. Because no amount of forcing and intelligent gathering will rescue all the girls, it is something for the sensing organs to maneuver and decipher. I am a bloody civilians but that does not mean I cannot give you military tactics and nuances. A world is enough for a wise.

In a final note I must quantify this with a quotation mark. In the world of Chris Rock “No normal, decent person is one thing”. Buhari must not becoming one thing, just pursuing corruption. Because what we poor masses need is food by the table, light on our bulb and fuel inside our Keke.

WRITER’S WORD: Just for fun, you should try commenting in this King’s Grammar, if you can.


About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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15 comments

  1. ?????????????????????????????????????????
    Chai!!!!!!!! I can’t abeg. This is the typing in the wall for this administration. Lol

  2. hahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha!!!

    brilliant!!!

  3. This is hilarious!! ^_^

  4. I can’t to fit to give proper replied

  5. Because money is burning in the jet, because it’s not swimming you use to travel or inside horseback. idied!!! ??????

  6. ????????
    Is first year of suffering constitutional?

  7. ?????????????
    Oh this is genius, I can’t even reply in that his language, it’s unique, it should be patented. Brilliant, simply brilliant.

  8. That Kingsley na clown walai! ? ? ?

  9. I agreement with all everything you type. You are a correction person! ????

  10. Lwkmd!!!!!! This guy is crazy!!!!!! He has raised valid points sha.

  11. Warning… If kanawa complain, then this is truly a hopeless situation and calls for immediate redress.

  12. ??????????????
    #dassall

  13. Not since Chief Zebrudaya has their been a such a delightful murder of the English Language. Keep it up, sir. Would love to read more of you.

  14. I just kept exclaiming until I got to “in lay man’s terminus, we are under suffering” and then laughter took over.
    Hilarious doesn’t cover it. Fair points made though.

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