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THE JOURNAL: This Thing Called Technology sef…

Dear Diary,

The world is a Global Village.

Whoever first coined that statement knew what he or she was saying. It’s evident, day after day, how much many divides have thinned and those chasms that separated continents, countries and communities have shrunken. Information zips around the globe faster than the devil is accumulating souls for his kingdom in Hell, and these days, one can sneeze in the relative calm of Owerri and the tremor will resonate all the way to the rowdier suburbs of Toronto. The Internet and its accompaniment of devices are spreading the good news so fast, that our modern-day pastors should feel shame for not spreading the other Good News with as much vigour.

When that celebrity hacking scandal broke out in Hollywood and I read something about an actress, struck by the horror of the maelstrom, saying: ‘Oh my God, the world is going to see me the way only my husband is meant to see me…’ I said to myself, That isn’t a figurative expression. It is literary. The world did see all those nude photos splashed all over the internet. Well, the perverted part of the world anyway. I’m not in that ratio; I dedicatedly stayed away from such lewd photographs.

Technology has made it so that, when a good friend of mine was traveling to the UK, I didn’t bawl and wail and bemoan the apparent fact that I was going to miss him. I would miss him. Until, of course, he was back on BBM and we were chatting up a storm and pinging photos back and forth.

Technology has made it so that, I can write stories and essays and put them up on MyMindSnaps, and someone from Australia will beep me on the Inbox of the blog’s Facebook page, gushing about how much she felt inspired by one so-so-and-so piece that I blogged about the other day.

Technology has made it so that, Lupita Nyong’o will say something in Los Angeles, decrying the hazards on skin and self esteem brought on by that Whitenicious cream Dencia is marketing, and some impressionable fan from Africa will write her to tell her how profoundly her message affected her.

Technology has made it so that psychos now commit murder in the privacy of their homes, and subsequently let whatever audience they have in on the macabre art of their crimes.

Technology also made it so that something really weird happened to me recently. I was chatting one afternoon with a couple of friends on my Blackberry Messenger, and then I put my phone down for a minute to attend to other concerns. When I picked my phone back up, I’d received two pings from these two friends of mine.

Now, the weird thing is this: Friend A had sent me a picture, and then a message after the picture. But the picture was delivered to me through Friend B’s chat window, leaving the message as the only thing delivered to me from Friend A. The curiouser thing is, the picture actually had attached to it the words: ‘Friend A sent you an image.’

On Friend B’s chat window!

How the frig did that happen?! The only explanation I have for it is – and please, bear with me as I give this very ludicrous explanation – both friends are located in Abuja, and so, perhaps there was a cross ventilation of pings happening in the stratosphere of technological channels, which then led to . . . Okay, let me stop there before someone will recommend me for the in-patient ward in Yaba Left.

In the meantime, Dear Diary, can you please tell me what kind of wizardry led to this happening. And don’t even tell me it was Voldemort’s doing. I happen to know for a fact that Harry Potter put an end to that nuisance a long time ago.

I am @Walt_Shakes on Twitter


About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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30 comments

  1. * clears throat*

    Ashually, what happened was that…. ehmm… the ping was gisting with friend B’s ping as they journeyed from abuja to lagos, when they got to your phone, they mistakenly swapped…

    *beaming proudly*

  2. That has actually happened to me over BBM. A VN whose content was somewhat embarrassing was delivered to the wrong person.

  3. Wat happened was the both messages entered at aproximately the sam second in time. Your phone (as is custom wit blackberry) frooze in the process of receiving and rearranged the messages! Lolz. Anyway technology has made everything easy I mean everything!! The good the bad and the ugly happen with the speed of a. Photon

  4. I’ve had my share of wrong messages and wrong deliveries. Dear Walter’s Diary, I also need explanation for some things which the list will be too long if I decided to post it here. Technology is a Two-Edged Sword, if not handled well, will cut both ways. As good as it is, the bad is greater than the good…*sighs*

  5. Been racking the head to give a reasonable explanation but there is none…proves that technology also has its hiccups.

  6. Hmmmmnnn! Weird! Hey Walter merry Christmas!

  7. LOL. The good and ugly of technology! Life’s now so easy I can be in a hotel room with Suzie in Calabar, telling Paul and Barnabas I’m en route to Owerri and Benin respectively…. meanwhile, I ply an entirely different “route”. *coughs*

    Yet they say teleportation is still sci-fi.

  8. The pings…seems like a glitch in the BBM’S app programming.

    Since data transmission uses TCP/IP (data transmission protocols), the messages must have mixed up somehow as text delivers faster than images. I guess maybe, when the messages were sent, friend B must have been typing a message to send to u hereby leaving his TCP/IP open though Friend B wont be aware of the fact that his IP was used to deliver the message.

    Technology aint perfect though. Nothing man made is.

  9. This is hilarious! Can’t say I know what went down! I’ve been down that route too, so many times before; so am guessing what happened was well….shit! Shit happened! That’s it! You’ll live Walter; just breathe! *laughing*

    Nice piece Walter, technology’s what it is… ‘Tech’! Thanks for sharing! LOL

  10. Hehehe… See sorcery o!

  11. The easier is simple, it’s a BB; the dullest smart phone ever. What did you expect?

  12. very hilarious something….you should take your phone for deliverance…

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