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THE HUSTLE OF A RAINBOW (Episode 6)

It seems to me that every attractive and possible match for me is in a relationship. Are they high? They dinnor know that I am single or what? Anyway, I am here for one reason and one reason alone:

Pussy.

*Drops mic*

LMAO, I’m just kidding. I’m here to sell my market. So here we go. Potential bae berra read this episode very well.

***

I’m 17. I can be funny. Watch this, I’ll make you laugh. Are you ready? What’s black, single and awesome? Me!!! Did you laugh? No? Fuck you then.

Um, I’m left handed so I am supposed to be smart. My intelligence is often up for debate, but my IQ is 162. I act either younger than my age or older because that’s the only way I know how. I spent my childhood and most of my teenage years as an adult, so I’ve been spending 2016 often acting like a child as an attempt to have a childhood.

Whoa! Is it me or was that getting deep? Lol, lemme tell you my real selling points and because I am bisexual, I’ll divide it into two sections.

For the guys:

  1. I have big brezz that are soft. (Are there hard breasts sef?)
  2. I will check out ass with you.
  3. I give awesome head. (Ask my exes)
  4. I roll blunts real good (I don’t smoke though)
  5. I won’t vex if you don’t call me every day.
  6. I’ll listen to you talk about anything.
  7. I give good massages
  8. I’ll acknowledge everything you do for me.
  9. I don’t ask for money or gifts. I may occasionally let you pay for my lunch or movie.
  10. I don’t know any other selling point again. Basically I’m awesome, so date me, yeah?

For the ladies:

  1. I have soft breasts and they love to be touched.
  2. I will not check out any other woman when I am with you. I have eyes for you and only you (unless you are checking her out too, in that case, I’ll gaze at that booty)
  3. I give awesome head. (Ask Kadris)
  4. If you smoke, you have to kiss me after you smoke a blunt. (Is this even a selling point?)
  5. I’ll write poems and songs for you.
  6. You will always have 87% of my attention.
  7. I’ll call you in the morning when I wake up and just before I sleep and maybe during the day.
  8. I give good massages.
  9. I’m broke right now so we have to share the cost of meals and movies, but when I have dough, expect me to spoil you.

So anyone want to date me? I’m nice, I swear.

Dazzall for now folks, why don’t you all tell me your selling points and I’ll act as if I am not reading through them to find a potential match?

Written by iAmNotAPerv

 


About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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9 comments

  1. Xo it’s your selling point I’ve been waiting for since how many days now…Tiz well #Wasjuxpassingbytho#

  2. Ehm, can I tell you my selling points in private? I’m shy 🚶🏾

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