A few days ago, we woke up to the most outrageous and ridiculous news that can possibly ever come out of a Republic in the 21st century: THE APPROPRIATION BILL IS MISSING!
How one can possibly conjecture such a happening beats me hollow. This budget is supposed to have been captured in both hard and soft copies. This budget is supposed to have been in the possession of every one of the 109 senators of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
But alas! These 109 distinguished senators got up one morning and told us that the budget is missing.
The Senate President held an emergency meeting with President Buhari to discuss the missing budget. Can you imagine? Two of the most powerful leaders in the most populous black nation on earth spent hours of Nigerian time and tax payers’ money to discuss a missing budget. The over 170 million Nigerians, across the globe, should feel insulted.
Even as a primary school pupil, I hardly lost my exercise books or test scripts. The few times I did, I got a generous trashing from my no-nonsense mother. But here we are; well-paid and well fed adults, who are supposed to be distinguished in every way, have lost our budget and they are shamefacedly accusing each other and spewing lies from their anuses.
Anyway, them know say nothing go happen. In this country, nothing dey always happen when our leaders mess up. In other climes, every senator would have resigned by now. These guys simply don’t respect our intelligence to feed us such crap. But what we all must realize is that this legislative stupidity has a gospel it is preaching to the world.
The gospel about Nigeria is being preached loud and clear by this missing budget saga. We are telling the world that in the 21st century and with all the advancement in science and technology, Nigeria lacks the technological know-how to protect some sheets of papers. Then do we expect investors to believe that we have the technological know-how to protect their investments?
I have been to the National Assembly complex several times. That place is protected by all sorts and shades of our law enforcement agents. YET a piece of document got missing from right under their noses. And you expect the world to take us seriously when we tell them we can protect lives and properties?
If it is taking days to #BringBackOurBudget, then who does the government want to convince that there is still hope to #BringBackOurGirls? The political salsa being danced by the presidency and the legislators is robbing us of the little shreds of dignity we still have as a nation.
The biggest duty of our politicians should be to improve the brand of this nation by their words and actions and not to detract from it.
This is the gospel of the Nigerian legislators.
Written by First Baba Isa (FBI)
firstname.lastname@example.org, 52F84BE5, @firstbabaisa