Home / Featured / THE DADDY DIARIES (Entry 20)

THE DADDY DIARIES (Entry 20)

“Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.” – David Frost

We are proud parents of another baby.

This is old news really, not like people didn’t already know, but you know as it is in Nigeria, you’ve got to keep the pregnancy a secret until the baby is born. Don’t even divulge the news when the stomach is so large and about to burst; tell them you had a large burger or one too many isi-ewu.

This entry isn’t about the superstitions of Nigerians though; hopefully I’ll get to the hilarity of that one day. This post is about the seemingly ease of having a second child.

People always say every pregnancy is different, no one is exactly alike. What you experience in the first one, you definitely won’t experience in the second. In the first pregnancy, my wife had an unusual craving for Fanta. I never understood it; I had to have Fanta in the fridge at all times, never lacking or I’ll be dealing with a really cranky pregnant woman. That’s like dialing up the crankiness of a woman in that time of the month to, like, infinity.

For this second pregnancy, we had no Fanta cravings. In fact, there were no cravings at all. Like how is that even possible? She didn’t crave anything – Oh wait, she had cravings for ice-cream. Thank God that was short-lived. My wallet might have never survived it. There is a reason though why there were no cravings; nothing could pass through. No food worked. She’d eat a little and vroom, straight to the bathroom to throw up. It was a scary something, but that passed and I was relieved.

The birth was easy this time around. We’d registered at a private clinic close to our home. Luckily, when the contractions came, we got to the hospital on time and had our baby.

Easy as pie, right?

Wrong!

My wife screamed her lungs out. I think she called for her ancestors to give her strength, I couldn’t really tell, her words were so muddled up. We had planned for me to be with her in the delivery room but we forgot we were already parents to a three-year-old. Who was going to watch him? Well, the plans changed. I had to watch him while my wife did her thing. I got to see our second son though the moment he was evicted from his previous apartment.

Yes, day-old babies still look like a red potato. In this case though, a potato that was alive, moving, and screaming. I guess potatoes don’t take likely to forceful evictions.

Having two boys has been a blessing – one we didn’t even think we deserved. We’re better at this parenting thing now, at least that’s what we tell ourselves. We know the signs to watch out for and ones to ignore. We now know not every baby fart gone wrong is such a wrong thing and not every single mosquito bite mark deserves a trip to the pediatrician.

There is a downside to having a second child though. Everybody naturally assumes you’ve got it all covered. Maybe we still got diapers left over from the first baby; surely the trailer-load of diapers couldn’t possibly have finished. Well you’d be wrong, my friends. Buying diapers is still a huge thing. Banana leaves have never looked so practical and safe; we just might give it a trial, who knows, we just might be on to a winning product. Oh wait, did you know diapers are now retailed? I kid you not! You can actually buy a single diaper for like 20naira. This is for some parts of Lagos though. Abuja people still be forming tush.

Back to the baby!

He is growing up fine, two months now and all is looking well with him. Feed, cry, poop, sleep! That’s basically his routine, the lucky chap! The dynamic between the brothers is something to write for another day. It’s one I’m still keenly observing.

As proud parents of two kids, we have been conferred the Nigerian right to coach other new parents on the dos and donts of parenting. This really should be fun!

Written by Anyibaba

About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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9 comments

  1. **waiting patiently for the posts of when the baby starts to show them different kind of pepper** LOL

  2. *laughing in Congolese*
    Oh you think we brought another one to take X’s place so he can be calm e kwa? Just wait till he can crawl sef. Una go see.

  3. *smiles*

  4. At the labour ward, one woman was screaming ‘baby is coming o!!!!!!! Baby is coming o!!!! Norsuu!!!!’ if I were not in pain, maybe I for laugh.

    My dear, jisienu Ike! Second baby will come when I’ve watched the economy and seen if it’s conducive enough :/ :/

  5. I am laughing in sverige! You never see something! Just wait!

  6. Onwebeedi ihe I hurula, ga a na akpokeshi!!! Wait until Number 2 starts trying to talk.

  7. Lol.
    I hope oga X doesn’t begin to throw tantrums when he realizes his brother needs more attention ?

  8. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

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