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THE DADDY DIARIES (Entry 19)

“If you’ve told a child a thousand time and he still does not understand, then it is not the child that is the slow learner.” – Walter Barbie

It has been brought to my notice that I’ve not updated this series for over three months and believe me, I join in your outrage. What kind of nonsense is this? Three months? In three months, a child in the womb has developed feet and arms, can even clench those tiny fingers. Yes, the gender might still be hard to distinguish by ultrasound but you get the idea. Three months is a really long time.

We apologise.

Yes, We.

“I am nothing but a pencil in the hand of the creator.”

Wait, that’s wrong. Let me try this again.

“I am nothing but a pencil in the hands of a dictator.”

Correct, far more accurate.

This entry is not about the dictatorial tendencies of our son; I believe that’s already well established. Children were put on this earth to torture adults, but somehow the adult keeps on loving them in return. It’s like BDSM but way creepier.

This entry is about school. Ah yes, School. That place we were sent to go learn how to go recite ABC and count to 100. To recite states and capitals, sing hymns in morning assembly as we made friends freely with the opposite sex. School used to be fun; now I don’t think it still is. Wait, I might be saying this because I’m now the parent, the one who pays all the fees and occasionally prepares our son for school when I’m not trying to get on his mother’s bad side.

We did find a decent enough school for him, one that didn’t have a ratio of one teacher to one hundred kids. We picked the school based on the recommendation of a good friend of ours, the friend who later withdrew her son. It’s a long story filled with friendships, love, intrigue, and betrayal. All so very Telemundo.

Sorry, I digress.

Ehen, good school. The teachers are not perfect but the headmistress knows her worth. Wait, are they still called headmistress nowadays or proprietress? Anyway, the headprietress truly knew her stuff and for that, we believed our son would fit in nicely.

We were oh so right and oh so wrong. It’s a complex thing, we’re still working through how right or wrong we’ve been.

THE RIGHT

Our son did not form his words as early as his peers, at least that’s what we were told. He was talking all right, but it was all mumbled baby codes we could not decipher. The more experienced parents like our mothers said he was barely three years old, what were we expecting? They said it’s usually the case for firstborns who had no other kid to speak to, so their speech development was not at Jaguar speed. I believe my wife got irritated with the negative talk; she never really discussed it with me but I suspect it was getting to her and really pissed her off. One day, she had a long discussion with the headprietress; they talked on how each child was different and the reason we chose her school was strictly for the small size.

The propriemistress went to work. She took special interest in our son, always checking his school work, monitoring his recitals, and by the end of this present term, she’d admitted he went above her own expectations. His words are now understood and he can easily scream out numbers and alphabets. All credits though can’t go to her. My wife had her own part to play. Chai, that woman haf burn enough data trying to get educational videos from YouTube. She got a lot, like really, really a lot. Our son spent hours on her phone watching one video after another over and over again. He learnt about the alphabets, numbers, colours, objects. He learned all these and the difference was clear. Now when we go out together, he keeps pointing to different colours.

THE WRONG

There is no wrong, what is the matter with you people? Why are your ears itching for bad news? You want to hear my son is graduating from the pre-nursery to Nursery 1, bah? You want to hear how we’re donating crayfish, rice, chicken, spices, carrot, cabbage, peas, lettuce, eggs, baked beans, and green pepper? You want to hear how we’re also paying money for the graduation excluding those food stuffs? Hian! What is your problem? Please we like our son’s school very, very well. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Our son speaks, we can understand his words and that’s all that matters.

As a parent, I can understand the tough choice of finding the right school for your child. We’re never sure if our kids are getting a wholesome education. But we have to realise the schools cannot do it all. Let’s try to do a little bit of home schooling. I believe that would be a great way of getting our kids to where we want them to reach.

Written by Anyibaba


About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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4 comments

  1. You know, some say that children actually communicate in a language peculiar to angels….lol

  2. Very true. But development in children is not the same. Some children are late bloomers. So, you may need to take it easy with him.

    Good job, Anyi and NK.

  3. Pauline'Lina' Ife

    Hahaha you see yourself? I could even understand his mumbled speech back then but you couldn’t. Ntooi gi lol.
    Weldon dear!

  4. From my experience spending time at home reading to kids and teaching them stuff helps improve their learning experience. Even Oyibo depend alot on home teaching.Same for Chinese folks. The oyibo teachers expect you to work with your child and they have milestones which they tick off. This is how they keep record of special needs kids or specially gifted kids and put them in the right directions.

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