Home / Featured / THE DADDY DIARIES (Entry 18)


FOREWORD: Here’s another open letter from Anyibaba’s pikin to me. Lol. (For the first open letter, click HERE) Enjoy.


Kids need parents, not visitors without gifts. – Anonymous

Dear Uncle Shishe,

How are you doing? I hope you travelled well? Mummy said your name is spelt as W-A-L-T-E-R. I don’t understand, why will your parents name you that name? So when I ask for water, I’m asking for you? I am not understanding why o. Anyway, I learnt your name before you left and it is shishe. If you don’t like it, you know where I live. Come and beat me.

OK, back to my letter.

So last year December, I overheard mum and dad talking about a friend coming over for the Christmas holiday. I was worried it would be Aunty Teketi… Hmm, that Aunty Teketi sef, she is a terror o. I wanted to report her to you when you came but mummy said she was once your queen. This was why I kept my mouth pim. I did not trust you’ll support me. So, eh heh, as I heard you were coming all the way from Lagos, I was curious because it is only daddy’s brothers that are there. So who could this be?

When I got home from school one day and saw you, I recognized you immediately. And oh, I was so happy because you played with me very well the last time I went to Lagos. So I was glad I had gotten a play pal.

I was wrong, I was very wrong o. It did me vroom-vroom for eye. After doting on me that first day, I realized you love your laptop more than me. No matter how many times I tried to get your attention, you won’t even look, until I realized both your ears were always blocked with an earpiece. That was when I started leaving you alone because each time daddy has that weird thing in his ears, he hardly pays attention to me.

Some days, you will let me sit with you and watch the screen with you while some other times, well… Let me just say that I did not understand your way at all. One minute, you’re really focused on me, the next minute, you’re focused on food. Hay God, you can eat o. I was just looking at you every time you ate. Food disappeared faster that the naira from daddy’s wallet.

I love it when you take me out, only that you like taking plenty pictures. The day God made you, he made a camera because you and camera are like beans and plantain. You just came and wanted to steal my shine. Uncle, there is God o.

That is how one day I heard mummy asking you why you still think children are selfish. Ah the thing pained me sha; after all the play, after all the effort I put in making you laugh, I even had to learn your name… And you now come and say children are selfish.

How are we selfish?

When I pour water on the flour, is it not mummy that cleans it? Or is it because you scrubbed the floor that I poured tea on one day like that? Small work and you will just be complaining anyhow. Selfish this and selfish that! Oya don’t clean it nah! Did you help remove my uniform or bath me? So because you escorted me to go and weewee at that bank that other day, you now say I am selfish?

Anyway, above it all though, I miss you and hope you will come back soon.

Bye, bye, Uncle Shishe, you were manageable to live with.

Love, Xavier

About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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  1. Please I have a son, not a pikin

  2. Awwww!!!shishe?sounds like thank you in Japanese!!loool!!dearest X,there are uncles that play with you till day break and there are uncles that love from afar by sending money every festive season!so,which do u prefer?be wise!! ? ?

  3. Hay God! This boy has finished my career. I’m a terror ke? I love you, IK. It’s why we fight a lot. This letter has broken my heart. Oh, the pain. The paaaaain!

  4. Pauline 'Lina' Ife

    Hahaha. Don’t worry X. When next you visit Lagos I wee come visit you with those weird things aka ear piece in my ears so as to better understand ya expression. Lol o diegwu!

  5. X of laive!!!!!

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