Home / Featured / THE DADDY DIARIES (Entry 12)


A quiet toddler is a mischievous one – My Mother-in-law.

What you are about to read is the frustration of a mother. Oh yes, I didn’t write this one. I didn’t plan on submitting an entry for this week. I had already informed Walter. I was just too swamped with work. But when you have a toddler, you’re bound to have a mother who is at her wits end, always nurturing, always loving, always on the verge of losing it.

Yesterday, she sent this in the mail.


They say: when a toddler is quiet, look for him or her to know where he is. At the very least, be sure he is tired and lying down, exhausted somewhere trying to sleep. My mum used to make such a fuss about finding my nephew anytime we don’t hear him creating a ruckus, and when I asked why, she’d say I should never trust a quiet toddler, for a quiet toddler is most likely up to some mischief.

By now, those words are meant to be like a mantra in my head. But no, I never seem to learn my lesson.

The other day, his father was asleep in the bedroom. I was in the living room watching TV. He entered the bedroom, and for a while he was very quiet. I should have gone to check what he was up to; I mean, his father was sleeping, so it wasn’t like they were both playing catch-up. The next thing I heard was his father shouting his name. Apparently, his son has emptied a whole bottle of water right there on him. On his shorts to be precise. You’d think the poor man had peed the bed.

On another quiet day, he had found where his dad hides his laptop. Oh dear, the laptop was a mess, greasy palm prints all over it. I just jejely carry am keep for him papa.

The position for my jewellery box has been changed because he has learnt how to climb the wardrobe, get the box down and play with its contents. I believe I’m still missing an earring.  Now he’s discovered that there are other things in the wardrobe other than my trinkets that are worth playing with. Solution: find the wardrobe key and start locking it.

That did not work as the key is now his new toothpick.

He has also figured out how to open the fridge so the eggs had to be relocated. Somehow he keeps moving the eggs as he hums his 1-2-3 rhyme.

Now, look what I have to clean up.ik pic

I keep wondering how our mothers did it. Really, motherhood can drive one nuts. I thank God say I never kolo, but I might be getting there.

Written by a mother at her wits end

About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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  1. Udegbunam Chukwudi


    See face! To beat this one go hard sef.

  2. LMHO.
    May I add, A quiet toddler is a destructive one. The few times Diva was that quiet, I was losing a few keys from my laptop keyboard. I couldn’t cry. I just reached by spanking her buttocks. Pele.
    Welcome to Motherhood.

  3. Oh it is well with us mothers oh…someone insinuated yesterday that being a “stay at home mom” is lazy and it is improper. I just shook my head at the smallness of his mind. If only he knew what mothers go thru with their kids everyday. Like Nky said, “thank God we haven’t run mad”. Every second, our kids create a new line of work for us. But then it’s those memories that make u smile every now and again, keeping u sane from d craziness of the world outside!

    Prof X, continue u hear…it’s ur time. Lol!

    • shakespeareanwalter

      ‘Every second, our kids create a new line of work for us.’
      ???????? It is only a pikin that will change your job description, and you wont get indignant and demand a raise or you resign. Children, such unique bosses.

    • That person should just stay a day with a toddler , the story will change.

  4. The joys of motherhood.

  5. Gosh, this part scares and excites me. I have a 6 month old son and can’t wait for him to get to this point where he doesn’t need me all the time. But then I’m so scared of the ruckus he’ll create. The Lord is ypur muscle o…motherhood is full time work honestly

  6. Oh my god! Now I understand why this child is doing things and getting away with them. How can you look at that face and want to spank him? Erm, Anyibaba and wife, which one of you is the good cop and which one is the bad cop? 😀

  7. Loooool????my dear!my sis and her 2 year old daughter travelled to our home during the xmas hols.ozzy,my niece, is such a joy.a very loud joy!?The house is always on fire.so you can imagine how scared my sis was when she found out that for some mins Ozzy was golden.and to top it off she was no where to be seen.my sis went to my mom’s bedroom and guess what?ozzy had opened her tin of baby milk and was licking the hell outta the powder,while watching tv of course.my sis, shouted “ozzy”!the baby girl,was startled!the next act was to attack her mom with her hands and tirades of baby babblings!in other words,lemme attack you b4 you scold me!!!????my sis called my mom and other sisters!she was just tired of laughing!her father calls her Ozzy the best or beast!go figure!

  8. Hahahahahahahaha! See his face! He rules that house o!!!

  9. Pauline 'Lina' Ife

    Hahahahaha this boy!!! @Nik ndo oo I can imagine owing to the few moments I’ve spent with him lols. It’s well my sister ; ngwa enter part 2 (the cleaning episode) lols

  10. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha ? ? ? ? ?
    See his face! ? ? ?

  11. ahahahahahahahah….as expected, the little one at his mischievous best.

  12. Hahahaha he’s just so adorable. How do you stay mad at him

  13. smack him ????

  14. Chai u wont go mad ijn amen. Some days i just want to sit down and cry better cry. Cuz my 2yr old is aleg and ha d full. Chai. Being a stay a@home mum is not beans. Some days i sweep d palour round d clock. Some days i let it stay messed up. I have lost all my good eyeshadow cuz skmehow she manages to get hold of my make up bag. My powder doesnt last up to a month cuz she breakes it. I am always looking for things, cuz its either she misplaces dem or i cant remember where i hid them. The list is endless. But in all i am thankful to God. Its d joys of motherhood.

  15. Hehehehehe! Lovely and smart boy. The other day my boy felt a part of the wall in the sitting room wasn’t well painted. He decided to effect changes with a jar of Vaseline. When he got tired of remodeling the wall, he decided to remodel himself. Chai!

    • shakespeareanwalter

      Hahahahahahahahahahaaa!!! I see a career in interior decoration.

    • Oh the Vaseline episode has come and gone, he rubbed the thing all over his P.E uniform while I was packing his school bag,he had to wear mufty to school

  16. Oh boy! The little man is very creative.

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