A parent will dig through anything, bare clawed, to get to the truth. – Anyibaba, 2015.
Today I shall tell you a story about when my wife got a temporary gig with LAWMA. That’s right, the LAWMA you all know. Though in this case, it’s the Abuja Waste Management Authority. What are they even called? AWMA?
It was on a Sunday, regular Sunday as Sundays go. She had gotten our son dressed up for church, before proceeding to get dressed herself. As we were about leaving the house, our son stepped into the kitchen and then came back out. We didn’t think much of that. Why would we? It’s his apartment too.
We returned from church, lazed around till night-time. We were still up around 12am watching a movie when my sister-in-law called me. She was worried her sister had not been picking her calls. That phone call startled us into realizing that my wife’s phone had not been seen all day, and we were abruptly sent on a 30-minute phone hunt. We searched high and low, places we didn’t even know existed in our apartment. Nothing! The phone kept ringing when called, and that at least gave us hope that it was still in the house. If it’d been stolen, it would already be switched off. It definitely was still in the house, we were positive about that.
As you can see, we were dead wrong. Our son saw his mother’s phone as trash and subsequently threw it into the trash bag. That same trash bag was what we carried out of the apartment on our way to church and dropped off at the central collection point in front of the building. We left for church by 7:50AM but didn’t notice the phone was gone until midnight.
When it seemed all hope was lost on finding the phone, that was when my wife suggested we go search the trash bag outside. I dialled the number once more. The moment I saw something light up inside the bag at the same time that her ringtone burst out, I began laughing. She joined in. We laughed so hard, not necessarily out of joy at finding the phone, but because the whole situation seemed silly. Here was a woman who would not under normal circumstances agree to work for a waste management company in the department of refuse control. Yet, here she was, digging through rotting food, manicured nails be dammed.
This funny incident happened last year November. Thankfully, our son has outgrown that phase after weeks of close monitoring and fetching the TV remote, spoons, and phone chargers out of the dustbin as he threw them away. He soon came to realise not everything is trash. All is now fine, we can breathe easily, and our important things won’t keep disappearing.
Two weeks ago however, my wife found my deodorant in the deep freezer. A few days later, we discovered the house key in the deep freezer. A week ago, I had to buy a new laptop charger; the old one was neither in the freezer nor the trash bag. He has apparently found a new disposal unit, and we are totally clueless as to where that is.
PLEASE HELP US!!!
Written by Anyibaba