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Surviving A World With People Like R. Kelly

I watched the ‘Surviving R. Kelly’ series yesterday. All six episodes of them. And I am traumatized.

I dreamt about the man. I went to pee in the night twice and returned to continue dreaming about him, right into this morning.

That guy is a soul snatcher. Ever wondered why he calls himself the Pied Piper? He snatched those girls’ innocence, abused them, fucked with their heads and destroyed their dreams.

For those of you saying the women are out to destroy him, are you serious at all? So, women from different parts of America, different backgrounds, at different ages, some of them now married and keeping respectable careers, would just get up and decide to destroy R. Kelly? Where’s your brain please? The worst are those of you making it a thing about gender. You don’t want to believe the women because they are women. Please, get a brain if you’ve lost yours.

Go and watch the documentary and see for yourself.

See R. Kelly’s brother talk about how he tried to make him take the fall for raping a 13-year-old and peeing in her mouth.

See his older brother, who is in jail, admit to the fact that R. Kelly loves young women. See his ex-wife talk about the harrowing abuse and slavery she suffered from him.

See a respected producer, who knew his beginnings, tell you sick stories about him.

See his former personal assistant talk about how he was involved in falsifying the late Aaliyah’s birth certificate to say she was 18 so that R. Kelly could marry her at the age of 15 because he had impregnated her.

See one of his former backup singers talk about how they caught him having sex with Aaliyah in their tour bus and how he destroyed Sparkle’s niece.

See Sparkle herself, who was his close friend at some point, talk about how he raped her niece and destroyed the relationship between her and the family because they lied about what R. Kelly had done to the girl.

Watch a mother rescue her daughter from being held by R. Kelly. Watch parents fight to see their daughters released from being held hostage by him for years.

Watch R. Kelly answer interview questions with apparent guilt.

Go and watch it and stop sitting in your uninformed place, talking about women wanting to pull a good man down.

I watched the video that had him raping Sparkle’s niece and peeing in her mouth sometime in 2005, and since then, my love for all things Robert Kelly died.

Why didn’t the victims speak out since? Some of them did and they were threatened. Others had signed non-disclosure agreements unknowingly and couldn’t do anything about it. Others had their parents or guardians collect money from R. Kelly. Others settled with him out of court. The ones that stayed silent were simply afraid of being shamed for speaking up against a man like R. Kelly. Some are yet to recover from the traumatic abuse.

R. Kelly is just one man out of many that are sexual predators. I don’t even want to start imagining the number of them here in Nigeria. Men who use their office and power to abuse women sexually.

I remember in school, a rumor went around about this popular governor who organized orgies in which girls were raped. I used to see the governor’s official cars parked outside the hostel to pick girls, but to me, it was just a rumor. Until the day those official 406 cars parked in a line outside the house I shared with my friends. I remember telling my roommates not to be tempted to follow them. Sharp girls they were, none of them were interested. Those drivers waited and then left. I heard they went to the next street and picked some girls that ended up being raped in an orgy and were then given 100 grand each to keep their mouths shut.

Please, tell me how these girls would open their mouths and say anything about that man and his cohorts tomorrow. Who would believe them? They would be shamed and blamed and the man would go free.

These men continue to do what they do because we create enabling environments for them. Most times, in communities where these things happen, people know what the men do, and they aid them. They shut the girls or women up or tell them to forgive and forget. In religious circles, it is even worse. I’ve shared my story on my blog about how a respected bishop both in Nigeria and America tried to rape me. This man would go on to abuse and have sex with other women and girls all through his travels to “spread the gospel”. Religion was his cover and he used it for his crimes.

Parents, please, watch your children. Don’t be too quick to throw them into the care of so-called mentors and leaders. From a young age, keep a relationship with them in which they can be free to talk to you about anything. Please, talk about sex. Sex education is important. Talk to them about rape too. Teach them confidence. Build up their self-esteem. Sexual predators mostly aim for children whose sense of self is low, children they sense do not have a close relationship with their parents, those that have been brainwashed religiously and children with parents they can easily manipulate.

Your child should come first before anything and anyone. Protecting them should be paramount. Do not trust any man or woman around them. Men like R. Kelly are out there. Women like R. Kelly are out there. They are people others trust and look up to. I’m sure the parents of those girls never imagined R. Kelly would rape and physically abuse and imprison their daughters. But it happened.

The Surviving R. Kelly documentary is an eye opener. Please watch it. Also find the book, Sex Me: Confessions of Daddy’s Little Freak, written by one of the survivors. Read it. Be informed. Be aware.

Written by Sally Dadzie

About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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4 comments

  1. Welcome back. Is this permanent or a one off thing?

  2. Please, does anyone know where I can watch the documentary?

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