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RECOIL

The boy and the girl sat on a park bench.

“I wish I could just wipe away everything that happened today, just wipe it completely,” she said.

“I know the feeling, dear. If you find out how, I’m interested.” He smiled. She didn’t notice.

“I mean, why can’t some people take hints, eh?”

“He was probably very hopeful.”

“I kept giving him hints that I wasn’t interested. God!” she said. “Now I’ll have to start avoiding him.”

“Ah, it isn’t that bad, dear. Come on. You just said no and should get over it. He should, too.”

“You should have seen his face. You should have seen…arrgh! Why won’t people just take hints?”

“Hey, you just said no to him. I mean if you don’t want to date him, that’s okay. It’s not like you did something bad.”

She was silent for a while.

“He was cool. I mean, I did enjoy—I do enjoy his company.”

“I know. He’s okay.”

“Then he got sappy. And for a while it was still okay. Still fun. But I see the changes and I’m leaving hint trails like I’m carrying breadcrumbs in a holey pocket and he misses them all. As in, he misses every single one of them!”

“It’s a shame. He’s usually bright, I guess?”

She paused.

“We used to be very tight—I mean we are very tight.”

“You do hang out often, yes.”

“Now I wonder…it seems things are broken. I mean, our tight friendship…”

“Broken things can be fixed.”

“Some things broken you are not sure can be fixed,” she said after a thought. “Some things broken you’re not sure you want to be fixed.”

Now he thought.

“I mean, now, if we see, we can never have the kind of bond we shared. He really was disappointed. He’ll feel I kind of hurt him, I may feel a little guilty, and we’ll pussyfoot around each other like cripples waltzing in a minefield or something—”

He laughed and she glanced at him briefly, smiling absently.

“We were tight friends; why go spoil something like that? He wants me to be his girl?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I mean how absurd is that?”

“It is?”

“It is. It’s like you asking me out?”

He turned and stared at her. “Oh.” He paused. “Is it?”

“What? Oh, yes. Past a point, friends just shouldn’t date.”

“That’s nonsense.” He paused then said. “It really makes no sense.”

“What? No, it does. Friends become too intimate to risk dating.”

“So they get too close to date? That it?”

“Yes. It’s like dating a brother or cousin.”

“Dubious honor that is.”

“What?”

“Being a make-believe brother. I’ll pass; have too many siblings already.”

It was her turn to look at him and his to look away.

“Well, it’s also sneaky.”

“Interesting. Sneaky, eh?”

“Yes, sneaky. You hang around just in a false guise being something you are not, and suddenly you spring a surprise!”

“False guise of what?”

“You pretend friend when you are suitor.”

“Regardless of whether I really care?”

“Of course, it’s a more convenient way to know one’s secrets and gain trust.”

“What? So, it’s a bad thing to get to know a girl before asking her out?”

“It’s sneaky getting to be a girl’s best friend before asking her out.”

“What’s sneaky about it?”

“Everything… it’s like finding out a Peeping Tom’s been spying in on you bathing! You know more than you should know and have been where you shouldn’t have been.”

“That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard!”

“What?”

“So you’d prefer a ‘Hi, I’m Mr. D from Mars and you are Miss P from Venus, and will you be my girl?’ kind of situation?”

“What? No, not that—”

“Why should one who cares anything about honesty in a relationship—and I’m assuming you do—be bothered about things her boyfriend knows about her?”

“You want to date me, you have to warn me beforehand, and not shoot me in the back with it somewhere down the line.”

“So you’ll have enough time to hide some things in the closet?”

“Wait, wait…is this still about him…or is this about something else?”

He said nothing.

“Eh?”

“You know, sometimes a guy needs to know he’d get to reach for more than the tissue paper and offer more than a shoulder to weep on.”

“What?”

“I’m going, dear. Take care.”

“What the fuck!”

He got up and left, feeling oddly elated, like he won something, but he knew he lost something too (At least, I didn’t ask and get shot down). He felt as if he spent ten thousand naira rigging a ten naira lottery in his favor. He also knew he had broken something between them and, like she said, he didn’t know if he could fix it or if he’d want to.

Written by The Yakadude

About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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36 comments

  1. Yaaaaay! First to comment on any post in my life. D ills of friendship, y cant we all jst be in d friend zone and be very happy bt nooooooo all dem guys be wanting more. Nice read nd wonderful story Yakaduse.

    • shakespeareanwalter

      Look at this woman talking. Mscheeewwwww!!!!

    • Lol, Wally. Easy. Oga, Bisi, unfriend-zone him now! Well, that’d be hard, your suggestion of let’s all be friends. How and who do you you date then?

  2. Pretty real. Yet we hear daily; “marry your friend”… See? Like a sword that slices both ways.

  3. Mr D_ and Miss P_. Hehehe. I see what you did there, bro. *lewd grin*

    Nice storytelling, BTW.

  4. Whoa, intense! Pretty sad too! Who best to be in a relationship with than your friend?! Who best to be in a lifelong friendship with, and I’m talking marriage, than your bestie?! Aint nothing awkward or wrong ’bout it at all! Down the line, a lotta folks suddenly come to the realization that they substituted their spouses as friends, friend-zoning the real deals and end up marrying a completely ‘familiar’ stranger! My definition of disaster! Plus, why can’t I get past the fact that this lady might actually have known ’bout what was coming and was only looking to nip it in the bud before it developed into anything serious??? More like a deliberate act on her part or could she have been that clueless not to have noticed?! Just a thought!*shrugs*

    This sizzles Yakykinz, resonates with a lotta peeps! keep keeping on; ‘they’ gat nada on you! LOOL

    • Yes, Yemie baby, glad to know you don’t believe in that FZ claptrap and so there’s no danger you’ll friend-zone me. Also I’ll need a document from you attesting to that signed in triplicate and notarized. Just covering all bases, baby.

  5. I so love and agree with the guy’s point of view. I really do not get this ‘friends can’t date’ issue. Some girls just need to get over themselves.
    And I believe its selfishness for one to enjoy the intimacy that comes with ‘tight’ friendship with someone and be repulsed by the thought of dating them.

  6. It never really matters. Marrying your best friend is actually awesome. I would only friend zone on a mutual ground ie. the guy has to equally want us to be just friends or he has to understand why we can’t date. Using the clause ‘Friends don’t date’ is just so wrong. Think about the dudes, and the courage summoned to do the asking out and all that.

  7. Really, It beats me too…
    Just like a girl told me recently that she has friend zoned me… And I was like what’s that supposed to mean?.. And she said; “We can’t go out, we’re too close”..
    And I’m like “TF does that mean??!”

    And you watch her go out with someone that’s ‘not so close’, get heartbroken and run back looking for a shoulder to cry on… Not my shoulder aunty… We’re too close for that…

    • shakespeareanwalter

      Hahahahahahaaa!!! Oh Damstylee, that comment is right on point.

    • Damstylee just dam-styled it! Lol.

    • LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL Dam oooooo. But this zoning thing has become something else ooo a day ago a friend told me that she fatherezoned a guy ….. And I’m wondering what the heck does that even mean?

      • shakespeareanwalter

        Fatherzoned? I mean, like seriously? What does that even mean? And oh, she told you? So una sabi wetin una dey do, abi?

  8. Its just like walter said, some people don’t really know what they want, had a best friend since like childhood, we were into each other and all, I knew he wanted me, gave him the green light, guess we weren’t as close as I thought. We dated but he just up and left one day no contact again, later got a BC from him inviting me to his wedding. Told him I can’t come guy, am hurt and disaapointed you played me and your fiancee too, deleted his contact and not spoken to him since. Dating your best friend does spoil the friendship, cause the level of trust there is differentand way higher that just meeting some random guy and starting a r/ship with them.

    • Pom, what I know about heart matters is that it is so far from empiricism as heaven is from earth. Nothing works every time and every love situation is peculiar and should be treated thusly.

  9. Dating your best friend is the best thing that can happen but most of the time,one person is all into it and the other is halfway in. The worst is the break-up,you can almost never go back to being friends and I guess thats what scares a lot of peeps.
    Awesome read. Thanks

  10. “We can’t date ‘cuz we’re too close.” WTF is that?! (F in WTF being ‘fudge’)

    Damstylee, my God will kuku bless you! She should buy shoulders along with tissue papers at the mart.

  11. LOL! well written. friendzone escape denied.. and then the recoil.

  12. Damstylee just made my day with his comment.

  13. Bin dia, done dat.. Didn’t work out.. Dating a friend spoils everyting. For one u guys can’t become real friends if u break up dats if u break up.. So why not avoid d unknown and stick to d known.. If u ask me it isn’t worth it.. So many ladies out there to choose from.. So search on

  14. I’ve dated my childhood friend, a best friend and asked a very good friend out but complications later arose. I don’t relate with any of them anymore. Last time I tried, it was too awkward so I had to stop.

    Dating your best friend can be the best thing you’ll ever do because they are the ones who knows your innermost weaknesses and desires but if that relationship ends, you’ll lose a treasure. I guess that’s what most people are scared of. That said, the girl in the story is just plain silly and Yaky is tha BOMB!

  15. I dated a best friend one time & it was d worst decision I ever made. There are lots of things we don’t know about our friends & relationships. Lots of peeps r good friends but terrible lovers. They just can’t help it. This ‘friend’ of mine used all he knew about me as a weapon in d relationship & I had d worst time of my life. I had 2 walk away after I got tired of feeling miserable only for him to get married 3 months after. That friendship was lost. I’m never crossing that friendship to lover bridge ever again.

  16. Its really very ok to date ur frnd and better still to mary one. I knw cos I did n its so cool cos u guys r like so in sync. U already knw yourself so there is no “getting to knw each other shit”. U talk with ur eyes n head movement n keep frnds wondering wn u burst into laughter without making a sound. U have old tales n events to gist on for hours while making new ones. Biko its a very nice tin joor. I wonder who created dat friend zone self.
    D catch thou, is dat both of u must have feelings for each other or @least b sincerely open to d idea of being more than frnds. If not OYO for d one in love.

  17. The conversational buildup reminds me of me, because it’s basically something I might do/say, were I remotely interested in dating a friend.

    In the end the girl loses. I spare no sympathy for her. She’ll grow older, and as the Apostle Paul puts it, ‘do away with childish things.’

    Beautiful writer right there, Yakadude. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.

  18. wasn’t surprised to see the signature of the yakadude at the end, the piece reeked of his cologne. lol
    I just love damstylee’s comment…
    personally, I don’t believe a failed romance should signify failed friendship. friendship existed before romance and if it was solidly built it should outlast the crumbled romance…it works for me

  19. Well written, Well-done Yakadude!I think d feelings to be more than friends should be mutual ab initio before friends could delve into ‘something serious’. And both parties should be able to sense d absense or presence of d said feelings. No one likes to reject their friends but sympathy love sucks even more.

  20. Let me see, she wants a friends she’s ‘so tight’ with, one she’s really intimate with…but one she’s too close to date? Who are these people?

  21. A friend of mine said, “Saying you can’t date a guy because you’re too close and don’t wanna lose the friendship is like saying you love playing FIFA but don’t wanna win so you don’t play” This statement says it all for me. Break ups happen, for a lot of reasons and will happen if you’re close friends or random strangers. If it works out, great. If it doesn’t, accept it as a fact of life and move on. In the end, do what you wanna do and feel good about. What you’ll regret most are the chances you didn’t take. Maybe you’ll get married and even be happy but 10 years down the line you’ll still think ‘And I could have dated this guy/girl oh, maybe it would even have worked out.” But at that point in time, you’ll never know because you never tried. Truth is in any relationship, we really don’t know what we’re doing, it’s all just a leap of faith – even if you see a trampoline (that may or may not vanish) before (and after) you jump.

    Sometimes we just need to be honest – brutally honest – with ourselves and with other people. It helps a lot.

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