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PSYCHO

A lot of times, I have been accused of being a misogynist. An unfair accusation, because I do not hate women. I simply dislike rude women. Rude men too! Simply put, I dislike rude people!

Once, while walking on the street, a short Caucasian picked out a gum from his mouth and threw it across the street. It landed right at my feet.

Asshole!

A few months ago, I was at a supermarket, and the short, ugly lady standing right in front of me wouldn’t let me move in front, even though I bought just a few things and she had bought practically every item there was to buy.

Fucking bitch cunt whore! DIE, DIE, DIE!

Ok, maybe I do dislike rude women a lot more than I dislike rude men. However, I dislike rude men, and that’s what matters. I am not misogynistic. I am not!

Second on my dislike list are mean people. I do not like mean people. I really don’t. While in secondary school, my best friend was once mean to me. The next day, I spat in my food, the lunch-pack mum prepared for me, and I gave it all to my best friend when I got to school. I also stole his Biology and Chemistry textbooks and burned them.

My father was mean too, very mean. That didn’t end well either. My imperious, eternally-furious father was always mean to me. He’d yell at and beat me up at the slightest provocation, until I killed him. That night, after I deliberately provoked him, and made sure I had gotten quite the drubbing from him, I simply picked out the Knife from my pocket where I had it the whole time, and plunged it into his protruding belly a few times. I swore to the judge I was only defending myself.

Now, to my neighbor, she’s being mean, really, really mean. Just last week, she stood and watched as I struggled with the two heavy trash bins. And when I fell, she smiled. She smiled and walked back in. I find that to be mean. I think it’s very mean. I’ve been thinking, ever since, of her cat. I wonder how it will look…dead.

Written by Tobby


About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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20 comments

  1. Jesus!!! Walter!!! I just had to wake up to this!!

    Nice written piece…really psycho tho.

  2. There’s only one asshole here, the narrator

  3. Wow! He ain’t psycho, he’s just a no nonsense person. I like!

  4. At the first paragraph, I did not see where the narrator was coming from, I thought he was a prick. Towards the end,I got a feel of why he is a psycho. Not a bad effort

  5. Jesus of Nazareth

    Prof. Walterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    This person is just as Scar faced as Scar Face Al Pacino in the Devil’s Advocate.

    Choiiiii

  6. This is just me. Hahahahahahahahaha . I hate everyone and everything.
    #misanthrope

  7. Mykel-Isblessed

    alright!! You got me going hahahaha at the last line.

  8. Ewwwwwww.

    • shakespeareanwalter

      Ewwww? That’s your reaction? He’s a psycho. You’re supposed to be going ‘Aaarrgghh’.
      lol

  9. Hehehehe…
    He isn’t a psycho…just a little deranged.

  10. Total psycho! Hoping to read more of this.

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