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A lot of times, I have been accused of being a misogynist. An unfair accusation, because I do not hate women. I simply dislike rude women. Rude men too! Simply put, I dislike rude people!

Once, while walking on the street, a short Caucasian picked out a gum from his mouth and threw it across the street. It landed right at my feet.


A few months ago, I was at a supermarket, and the short, ugly lady standing right in front of me wouldn’t let me move in front, even though I bought just a few things and she had bought practically every item there was to buy.

Fucking bitch cunt whore! DIE, DIE, DIE!

Ok, maybe I do dislike rude women a lot more than I dislike rude men. However, I dislike rude men, and that’s what matters. I am not misogynistic. I am not!

Second on my dislike list are mean people. I do not like mean people. I really don’t. While in secondary school, my best friend was once mean to me. The next day, I spat in my food, the lunch-pack mum prepared for me, and I gave it all to my best friend when I got to school. I also stole his Biology and Chemistry textbooks and burned them.

My father was mean too, very mean. That didn’t end well either. My imperious, eternally-furious father was always mean to me. He’d yell at and beat me up at the slightest provocation, until I killed him. That night, after I deliberately provoked him, and made sure I had gotten quite the drubbing from him, I simply picked out the Knife from my pocket where I had it the whole time, and plunged it into his protruding belly a few times. I swore to the judge I was only defending myself.

Now, to my neighbor, she’s being mean, really, really mean. Just last week, she stood and watched as I struggled with the two heavy trash bins. And when I fell, she smiled. She smiled and walked back in. I find that to be mean. I think it’s very mean. I’ve been thinking, ever since, of her cat. I wonder how it will look…dead.

Written by Tobby

About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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  1. Jesus!!! Walter!!! I just had to wake up to this!!

    Nice written piece…really psycho tho.

  2. There’s only one asshole here, the narrator

  3. Wow! He ain’t psycho, he’s just a no nonsense person. I like!

  4. At the first paragraph, I did not see where the narrator was coming from, I thought he was a prick. Towards the end,I got a feel of why he is a psycho. Not a bad effort

  5. Jesus of Nazareth

    Prof. Walterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    This person is just as Scar faced as Scar Face Al Pacino in the Devil’s Advocate.


  6. This is just me. Hahahahahahahahaha . I hate everyone and everything.

  7. Mykel-Isblessed

    alright!! You got me going hahahaha at the last line.

  8. Ewwwwwww.

    • shakespeareanwalter

      Ewwww? That’s your reaction? He’s a psycho. You’re supposed to be going ‘Aaarrgghh’.

  9. Hehehehe…
    He isn’t a psycho…just a little deranged.

  10. I like.

  11. Total psycho! Hoping to read more of this.

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