Today, your name appeared on my Facebook list of ‘People You May Know’.
I paused, dragged my breath and scrolled up again.
Facebook doesn’t know that you’re not simply someone I may know; instead you’re someone I know, or thought I knew.
Memories drove me to a those times I have tried to forget, but stick to me like glue. I stare at you – a small square picture staring back at me with bespectacled eyes.
“I’m down with you. I mean I’m with you,” you’d said that day, a stoic expression on your face that made it difficult for me to read your thoughts.
Yet, at the moment these words poured out your mouth, I thought I recognized a painted lie, one that I nonetheless chose to believe.
Spontaneous. That was the excuse you gave to justify your disinterest in everything. How you could be here today, and there tomorrow. Thinking back now, I should have recognized a confused ball of wild human storm behind those glasses. It was there in your eyes though, in the sparkle of tall tales I deliberately ignored it because I didn’t want to upset you.
Each day that passed made me feel like a book you had suddenly got bored of, now left face down, spine flattened from idle waiting. I watched you take my happiness, snuff out what little light was left inside of me. You took my pain and tears and made them a trophy on your shelf.
Staring at you on my Facebook timeline, I wondered if I’ve ever showed up on your wall as one of the people you may know. I wondered if looking into my faux smile and hooded brown eyes ring bring back memories of our time together to you, or if I have become an unwanted memory, abandoned somewhere in the recesses of your mind.
I’m thankful now that I refused to lie down and let you walk all over me, that I was able to break free of your hold on me.
Today, I saw you as people I may know on Facebook. It was shocking, really, because you are someone I know, or thought I knew.
Written by Justin