Dear young woman who identifies as a feminist, feminism is not a fancy tag one wears to look cool. What do you think feminism is? You wake up one morning and decide you want an excuse to be stubborn. Oh what to do? Light bulb moment! You should become a feminist. That way you can claim you hate submission.
Before you take up that tag, research it. Read about it. Understand it. Not just the surface but go as deep as you can.
It is abysmally embarrassing to see ladies who claim to be feminists say their worth as women is tied to their vagina or bride price. It is incredibly sad when people who identify with feminism say proudly that a woman loses her value if she has sex or moves in with a man. It is cringe-worthy when a feminist refers to female feminists as bitter and angry.
Before you become a feminist, do well to separate your personal, moral and religious views from that of feminism. Stop using feminism as an excuse for your own personal decisions.
Don’t say “The reason I hate yam and beans is because I am a feminist.”
Or “I like staying on top because I am a feminist.”
Or “I don’t believe in paying tithe because I am a feminist.”
Or “I wipe from back to front because I am a feminist.”
Or “The reason I feel the present administration is wack is because I am a feminist.”
Do not use feminism to back up your personal convictions and opinions. Learn to separate them.
Be open-minded. Read, learn. Do not perpetuate the patriarchal stereotypes we are trying so hard to quash yet claim to be a feminist.
Do your due diligence, dear female, before you pick up that tag. Feminism is not a new fad for cool kids. It is not all sweet and sugary. You don’t get to be a feminist when you hate submission and drop it when you want patriarchal benefits.
This is the truth. I know you don’t like it. But guess what: the truth may set you free, but first it’ll piss you off.
Written by Ijeoma Chinonyerem