You’ve found love, now what next? The fairy tales always end with the tag line “…and they lived happily ever after”, but when reality hits, you realize that’s the biggest crock of shit. Nothing ever prepares you for how mad you’d get when he does something to irritate you. Nothing sets you up for how she takes the smallest issues so serious and decides to make the life changing issues so negligible. No one lets you in on the joke of his snoring and how he ticks off all your pet peeves. No one ever reveals to you how much you’d want to smother her with a pillow when you’re lying by her side some nights. Even if they did, their words probably flew over your head. You’re left in a daze because you don’t know where to start from half the time.
Then, he does something so amazing, like send you a text message out of the blue when you’re having a hard day at work saying: You’re always on my mind…I hope you’re doing good…Miss you babe. Like when you’re both asleep, and in her sleep, she reaches for your hand and wraps herself up in your arms because that’s where she feels safest. Like when she buys you a Superman mug for Christmas and presents it to you saying, ‘’I got you this mug because you’re my Superman, you do everything you can to make things right for me, so anytime you see this mug, I want you to know that this is what I think of you.”
The same way no one prepares you for the messy things is the way the amazing moments take you entirely by surprise.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m the world’s biggest sap. I love romantic comedies and romance novels. My music usually gets the response: “Which kain woman music be this?” I’m a man who is completely in love with love. So what do I do when I’m faced with the downside of love? I look at the person I’m with and remind myself why I chose her out of all the others in the first place. Every relationship is definitely going to have its tough times. But at the end of the day, what keep you grounded are the foundation you built it on and the strength of the couple. Some people basically rely on the other person to be strong for both of them (this is why when you’re looking for a serious relationship, you should look for someone who’s as grounded as you are mentally or you just might find yourself standing all alone when the strong winds come), and that’s not the best at all.
So, it’s the season of love. Don’t forget to be good to your lover. Buy him or her gifts (please not underwear, that route has been overused and abused). Take him or her somewhere nice and special. Be amazing and on your best behaviour because anyone who has to deal with your ego and insecurities on a daily basis deserves a break. Cook dinner. Do something extraordinary. Make it amazing.
If you’re in the same boat as me today – single and far away from your friends – it’s not the end of the world. Simply take a deep breath and be good to yourself, because until you realize the power of self-love, you will never be able to love anyone enough to make them completely happy. Just chill out and take yourself on a date. Masturbate even (it’s all part of self-love *wink*). You deserve happiness, and it starts with you.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
Written by Lothario