Home / Featured / Much Ado About My Article “HUSBANDS, SUBMIT TO YOUR WIVES”


I am grateful to be alive. I am also grateful to have a voice, one that I can lend to beautiful and worthy causes such as the betterment of the lives of our grandmothers, mothers, wives, sisters and daughters. My article which was ‘ingeniously’ titled ‘Husbands, Submit To Your Wives’ did not only serve to communicate a message, it also demonstrated a few things about human emotional and psychological response. Believe me, I was intrigued.

Let us begin with the choice of my title. A friend pointed out that its phrasing would repel the very persons for whom this message was intended, namely men. Even some of the ladies found the picture attached to the article disturbing. Haha! What you do not realize, my friends, is that by reading it, you participated in some sort of psychological experiment set up by my humblest of selves (ha-ha! Rubbish expression). And I do not think the title made some people uninterested in the article. If it did, that in itself so eloquently summarizes the attitude men and society has towards the idea of a submissive man. The title therefore would be sufficient to prove my point, making the rest of the article unnecessary.

Now, I want you to think about your emotional response to the title, the attached picture and even the article itself. This response of yours tells in one instant, a rich and fascinating story about who you are, where you have come from, what you have been made to believe or what you have decided to believe. Nothing like emotions is able to capture and summarize so fluently the thoughts, ideas and experiences, even of a life time. Your response demonstrates to you your keenness of thought, your ability to handle negative emotion and your degree of egoism.

Again, your first response to the article was unconscious, immediate and reflex. This entire experimental set up served to reveal your programming. You know how programmed robots act bah? They follow the programming without question and responses are immediate, unconscious and without thought. I am talking about your immediate response here. So what was your response? Think about it. I challenge you to distinguish for me the response that is genuinely and uniquely yours from that which you were merely conditioned to have by the culture of your birth.

Some people appreciated the article and some didn’t. My major aim was to communicate an idea I have held in my mind for a long time. I do not care for praise because human beings are so fickle. They could praise you today and curse you tomorrow. I would be the most miserable of human beings if my sense of self or well-being depended on anyone’s opinion about me, be it praise or criticism. If I seek praise, then I would be afraid to tell the bitter truth, fearing I would lose that which I seek. Praise is potentially dangerous because nothing swells the head or the ego like praise. When one becomes addicted or dependent on it, there is trouble because one would be stuck with doing not what is right or reasonable but that which appeals to the crowd. So I take praise but always with a pinch of salt.

I even prefer constructive criticism because if my critic makes a good point, then I can grow, learn and become better. Sadly, the harshest critics of my article were not constructive. One suggested that I must have been raised in a chaotic home and that is was the reason why I hold my particular perspective. Can you imagine! Heu! Diaris God oh! He went ahead to say how his dad was his hero. He became personal with his interpretation of the article and was obviously not being objective. Another person called me confused and said the ideas were muddled up. I did not bother to respond to these people because they obviously were committing the logical fallacy of argumentum ad hominem. If you are logical, only then do you deserve a response. Tenkiu!

My harshest critic said I was “a disgrace and totally bereft of knowledge”. He was the only person I responded to. I expressed gratitude for his perspective and said thank you. If he intended to offend me I am sorry to disappoint him. I was not offended. Rather, after reading his comment, I experienced an epiphany. Instead of anger, I felt joy. From that state of being, I could say THANK YOU. And I meant it. That epiphany funny enough will be the core message of my first book which I have decided to title “emotional transcendence”. Abeg I need more people to abuse me ooo! Anything for more book ideas! Lol!

I struggle to understand why any man would have an issue with balancing the scales in such a manner that would bring equal advantage to men and women. They fail to notice that a system that favours the women ultimately favours their own mothers, wives, sisters and daughters. Why would you fight an idea that brings benefit to your mother? Someone help me understand! How about all the women that will flow from your loins in subsequent generations? The world cannot be better than we make it. What is wrong with making this world better for our daughters yet unborn? It is common knowledge that men love their mothers and daughters ferociously. But at this moment, I really don’t know what to believe anymore since some are fighting to ensure that the status quo remains, especially considering how it disadvantages the breasts that suckled them and the womb from which they emerged.

Finally, at the end of the article, I apologized oh! I even explained the reason for my sarcastic, scathing tone which was employed deliberately to arouse attention. Not attention to me but to the points I had outlined. It was employed to force people to digest every word of the article and it apparently worked. It would be irrational of me to think that ALL MEN have large egos, are inconsiderate of women or are cruel to women. I was not attacking any particular man but was speaking to the prevailing culture. Why people come dey take am personal? In fact, there are some women who have larger egos than men and even beat their husbands. Just as there are good men, there are good women. Goodness has got absolutely nothing to do with gender. And to be honest, I really don’t care much about who should submit to whom in marriage. What I care about is love in marriage. Like I said, when love is perfect, the issue of submission will never arise. And for the dude who personalized the whole matter and perhaps felt I was indicting his dad, bro, biko camdan! I obviously wasn’t referring to your dad. No vex.

And no one should think I am on the side of the males or the females. I am nobody’s side. I am on the side of fairness, equity, superior logic and truth. The day e go climb my head to write about women, I will be equally or even more scathing. Lol!

Now can we all shake hands and be friends?

Written by Manny

About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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  1. I think it was the picture used for that article that incited those responses.

    • shakespeareanwalter

      Not every contrary thing said was in reaction to the picture though. Some people took personal beef with the content, beef that in my opinion comes from a distorted understanding of the message.

      • Even if that were so, even if they were reacting to the picture so much they pissed on the article, how does that speak well of the character of these people, who let a picture cloud their understanding of what was clearly a beautiful piece?

  2. One thing i have noticed though. When ppl always tell u they dnt care abt d opinions of others abt dem the reverse is usually d case. Surprise u still use d word ‘women’ nd ‘female’. No one applauds when women are being maltreated or marginalized but some posts are just not necessary.

  3. Hmmm, right. Love truly is the most important feature in ANY relationship.

  4. that article is the only reason why I have revisited your bloh .

    I think that was awesome writing I’m display and most importantly….THE TRUTH.(not a lot of people are fans of it but it prevails always)

    I say keep this up. I love your work

  5. I still think that post was most neccesary and his reaction at being insulted over that post shows he is human.

    there is no need to form ‘badoo’ to suit an ideology of ‘e no pain me’

    I love this post too.

  6. I like you.

    Please feel free to express yourself. Some body will read and she likes to read hard core truth without any tune of diplomacy. Not everyone will ever agree with ones thoughts, but one must express it anyways.

    I apologise for reading this late and for my late response.

    For the record again, I really like you. Only one with a high mental state that can reason out societal issues without bias, can write like you.

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