If asked to name my hobbies, kissing would be one of them. It’s something I enjoy doing or watching on TV or reading about; I love the theory and practical aspect of it. I don’t make a habit of kissing anybody and everybody, but I’ve had my fair share of people I’ve kissed or people that have kissed me. And since they say gentlemen don’t kiss and tell (that’s what they say, isn’t it?), and I’m a lady, here’s my recounting of the kiss-periences I’ve had in my lifetime.
The first man that kissed me was my guardian in secondary school, who happened to be the Vice Principal Administration. I was just in JSS1 at the time. (Yes, it was child abuse) I had gone for one of the Saturday visits to the guardian’s house, and the man called me into his bedroom. As an innocent little girl, I had nothing in mind. So I went in, and he made me sit on his lap. And before I knew what was happening, he had his tongue in my mouth. It was very disgusting. (This is actually a dreadful memory, but I’m putting down all my kisses) His tongue just kept moving in and out of my mouth; I can’t remember how that ordeal ended, but it did end – with the kiss. I won’t get into the story of what happened after that, but the conclusion was that none of the people I told believed I was abused by the school’s VP, so I dropped it and decided to avoid the man.
The second person I kissed was my secondary school teacher. I had this massive crush on him but I tried not to make it noticeable. And I succeeded, because he never noticed. I got in touch with him after I graduated from secondary school. We became friends and started chatting about personal things. It’s not as creepy as you think; he had just graduated from the university and was waiting for his NYSC call-up letter when he started teaching in my school. Anyway, our chats turned intimate and I told him I had a crush on him and I still liked him. I even agreed to let him be my first kiss (Please, you didn’t think I was going to let that creepy VP be my first kiss, did you? EEW!) Anyway, when I finally had my so-called first kiss, it wasn’t what I envisioned. It was very disappointing, firstly, because he couldn’t kiss, and secondly, because I was no longer as attracted to him as I was before. I neither liked nor enjoyed the kiss.
The third guy was someone from my department I university, but one level higher than mine. He’s very good looking and very friendly, a lot of people liked him. We became friends, and during one of my visits to his place, we kissed. It was a very sensual kiss, the first kiss I ever enjoyed, and I couldn’t get enough of his lips. He was a very good kisser.
The fourth guy was my secondary school teacher-crush’s younger brother. I first met him during one of my visits to my teacher’s house, and he happened to also be in the same university as me. Back in school, he called and asked me to visit, and I did. It was there in his room that he kissed me. I didn’t kiss him back, because it felt wrong to me. I simply let him kiss me, and after a while, I stopped it. I must however admit that he does know how to kiss, even when I wasn’t reciprocating. I didn’t visit again after that.
The fifth guy was my brother’s friend’s brother. Well, he’s almost as good as the third guy. I always enjoyed his kisses, so no fault there.
The sixth guy was someone I met online that goes to the same school as me. He visited me one time in my lodge, and as I was seeing him off after the visit, he leaned in and kissed me. I didn’t kiss back, because the act came as a surprise to me, and he couldn’t kiss; he does more of sucking at my lips than kissing me. So yes, he’s a bad kisser.
The seventh person I kissed was this tomboy in football practice. During one of her visits to my place, she asked to kiss me and I agreed, because I was curious. I wanted to know what it felt like to kiss a fellow girl, and I have to be honest, it felt really good. I read somewhere that girls are good kissers and I agree with that. Anyway, she was a very good kisser and I liked it, but it was just a one-time thing.
The last person – well, so far – is Henry. You should know that out of all these people I mentioned, Henry is the only one I dated; the others are either just flings or onetime things. Don’t get me wrong; he’s not my first boyfriend, he’s just the first boyfriend I’ve actually kissed. I had my first boyfriend in JSS3, the second in SS2, the third in SS3, and the fourth in Year 1. Henry is the fifth. Unfortunately, he is the worst kisser of all my kisses. His kiss is more like the VP’s, but with more saliva. He is very bad at it. I tried to teach him, but he wouldn’t – or couldn’t – learn. Even when I tell him to let me take charge in the kissing, he won’t let that happen. The good news is we’re no longer dating. The bad news is I still like him.
So there it is, the kisses I’ve had my entire life. Too bad I’ve not found the one that makes my heart skip a beat or make my breath quicken or make my insides melt. But well, who knows…?
Written by Cassie