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Kenny Badmus Comes Out As Gay

This is a mistake a lot of us make. We all want to change people to conform to our preferences. We find it easier to play god in the lives of people we did not make. – Kenny Badmus.

Brand expert, Kenny Badmus, came out in a post on Facebook, one in which he revealed how he was pressured by societal norms to get married and live a lie that robbed him of his happiness.

Read his post below.

When I first told my ex-wife that I was gay, we were far from being married. I wanted her to find other men honorably, who had a thing for women. I never did. I ‘swear down.’ I was only obeying the popular demand of traditions. Now, this was my terrible mistake. No one should live their life based on dogmas and other people’s expectations. As far as I could remember, even though I was always dating girls, I had always preferred being with a man. I had fought it with every fiber of spirituality in me as a Pentecostal preacher boy (find details and journeys in my book ‘THE EXODUS.’) The more I fought my sexual preference for men, the more I became more miserable. Unfortunately, as erroneously believed, sex wasn’t the problem. I had been having sex with women as far back as a twelve-year-old. Sexuality is whom we are emotionally present with, not whom we are sleeping with. And oh boy, she really tried to make me a heterosexual. But I’m still not, sadly.

One of those pre-marriage days, while we were with our marriage counseling team, I brought up the issue again – that I had always had a preference for men. I wanted the Ministers to dissuade her from the marriage. I just couldn’t put a ring on a fat big lie. My father taught me one principle: DIE FOR YOUR OWN TRUTH, EVEN IF IT’S UNPOPULAR, BUT DON’T HARM OTHERS WITH IT. She was so happy to tell the ministers, as quickly as she could, that my feelings for men would all be gone, because she believed it was a childhood disorder. I guess she meant she was going to fuck my brains into heterosexuality. This is a mistake a lot of us make. We all want to change people to conform to our preferences. We find it easier to play god in the lives of people we did not make.

After six years together, I knew I was not getting any better. I STILL LOVED MEN. And one day, because I didn’t want to cheat on her, I humbly asked her that we should go our separate ways. That was when all hell broke loose. She suddenly forgot about how it all started. In court, she told the judge how she suddenly found out that I was gay, and how it’s against the Law of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. In other words, she wanted me sentenced to the new 14 years jail term served by the Nigerian government. Luckily, I was in a civil court.

Sadly, that day, I had to duck my face in shame as the crowd jeered at me for being whom I had always been. ‘You faggot’ ‘Oh what a shameful man!’ ‘homo!’ ‘Na wa o ‘ I still don’t know how I walked out of the court premises that day. (This case is still ongoing)

What about my business? Tell any client in Nigeria that you are gay, and you lose their business. That’s exactly what happened. I lost friends, businesses, sponsorships and family members. I had to start my life all again. Applied for a new job. Get back to school. Although my ex-wife is one of the most faithful and beautiful women in Nigeria, she is a victim of institutionalized homophobia. Just like many people who are reading this.

It will be exactly a year today when Nigeria instituted a law to jail people like me. What’s our offense? Because we are simply wired differently. There are only about 5 to 10% of homosexuals in every population as cited by popular findings and documents. Why is a 90% dominant population afraid of its 10%? Shouldn’t you care about us? Don’t you think it’s a lot easier to be seen as part of the 90%? And before you throw those religious verses on us for being wired differently, I want to leave you with my favorite Bible verses from Romans 8.

31: What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?

32: Since He did not spare even His own Son (in the popular narratives according to the Christian Faith) but gave |Him up for us all, won’t He also give us everything else?

33: Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for His own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with Himself.

34: Who then will condemn us? No one…

38: And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, [b] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.

39: No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in (in the narrative of) Christ Jesus our Lord.

*

Amen. 🙂


About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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26 comments

  1. Sad story. I appreciate his honesty (according to him). I however still find it difficult to believe God creating men and women to fit each other so well is a mistake (and I’m not just talking about sex). It’s a hard sell for me.

    • shakespeareanwalter

      It’s not a product, Jyte. LGBT is not a gimmick. It’s a fact. It’s life. It IS what it is. there are men and women who are just not connected emotionally or sexually to members of the opposite sex. I don’t know the scriptural answer to it. It may not make sense to you. But it’s still what it is.

    • @Enajyte, your religious piety and inability to comprehend a well written piece has blinded you like a bat in the day from connecting & understanding what this young man has been through. Your lack of empathy is disheartening. And you’re supposed to be a “child of God” who preaches love and acceptance. Its a hard sell, really.? Who’s selling what?? He ain’t selling sh*t, he ain’t saying it for you to buy it, he did for you to understand the sheer emotional trauma which LGBT people are madd to face in this harsh climate of Nigeria.
      Whether you like it or not, there’ll always be gay people around, you have a 1/10 chance of giving birth to one and the number goes higher if you have an uncle who’s gay, so go figure..
      They were born the same way you were, they didn’t fall from the sky!!!!!!!.. Its completely natural no matter what your book of folklore or your myopic mind might tell you..
      Go and take a chill pill.. No one cares what you think!!!

  2. i have gay friends and they understand i’m straight. so everybody is cool as long as they dont hit on me. besides their sexual preference, we have a lot in common and i dont think i wanna throw good friendship away just cos of sexual preference which is only important in a very small aspect of our lives.. abi will his sexual preference prevent him from doing my job well? from appreciating what i do? from giving me sound advice??… i believe if a problem is found, you dont condemn it, you seek a solution to it. so those of us who think its evil to be gay should find a solution for those who are gay or shut it… i don tire to dey hear all these gay gay crap.. i’d rather stay with a gay friend than a paedophile…or a politician, truth be told

    • @Mark, your comments are downright condescending and reeks of homophobia.
      And maybe you didn’t get the memo, but homosexuality isn’t a disease any more than heterosexuality is.. How do you cure heterosexuality?? Some peoples comments make me wanna wrap them in a cheap bagco sac and throw them off Eko bridge.. The sheer insult of your comment, comparing homosexuality and pedophilia.
      You need some pills…

      • ” Some peoples comments
        make me wanna wrap them in
        a cheap bagco sac and throw
        them off Eko bridge” .. lol… come throw me off eko bridge na shebi you’re incredible hulk.

        you’re so blinded by anger that you can’t read to understand anymore, you read like someone’s out to get you, therefore you must always be in attack mode, it’s cos of people like you I don’t comment in public forums like this because your smarty-pants nature, your i-am-too-smart-to-be-wrong nature will always get the better of you. newsflash, no one cares about you or what you think, they will only pretend to when its comfortable for them.

        now to rid you of your ignorance as to my comment, I’ll start by saying, opinions will always differ notwithstanding acceptance of a particular one, there will always be exceptions e.g black. there are still racist in the world notwithstanding the fact that blacks have now been fully accepted as human beings, and not any lesser than whites. so no matter how hard you cry, no matter how hard you fight and gay men are accepted in society, there’ll still be people who will find them evil. believe or die.

        if you read my post well, I said “those of us that ‘think'” meaning for those that think its a problem to be gay, the class of people in society with inevitably differing opinion as to the legality of being gay, they should find a solution instead of condemning. its like saying “if you say aki and pawpaw’s height is evil, then provide a solution”..doesn’t mean I am saying they’re evil, I am only speaking to those who think they’re evil to do something more worthwhile than cry foul.

        next, I didn’t compare gay people to paedophiles, cos as before, I was speaking to the class of people who think they’re evil… its like saying ” if you think they’re evil, fine, so is paedophalia, robbery and rape, and I’d rather stay with an evil gay person by your standard than stay with a child molester or a politician who needs human sacrifices”…so logically I was speaking from the angle of reference to those who think gays are evil, and basing my argument on their opinion.

        I hope you understand me, oga knight in shinning armour for gay people.

        P.S You might be older than me, I don’t care, but you really are rude. if this is how you attack people’s opinions just cos they don’t agree with yours, then I think you should be the one to be thrown off eko bridge.

        • Wow, looks like someone wrote an epistle.. I’m not even gonna pretend that I read it.. Scanned through the beginning and the end… For starters, you’re not doing gay people a Favour by “tolerating” them. And also, gay people don’t wanna get in your pants.. Just like youre attracted to some type of girls, they have a type too, so thinking you’re on the menu is. Quite laughable. Try curing your own personal disease before looking for who to cure. Your comment is an insult to any gay friend you might have.
          To some uneducated people, it might actually sound like your comment was pro-gay, but it has all shades of homophobia.

          They’re tired of eating bread crumbs that you throw ocassionally, if you wanna be for them, be for tthem 100% and stop making comments shrouded in contempt..

          • lol… first off, I’m glad I’m not on the menu, I’m not prawn or calamari.

            secondly, what’s the Pro-gay thingy you’re trying to sell?? lol… nobody is at war against gay people, you should attack ideals not people. besides the only pro-whatever I wanna be part of now is PRO Evolution Soccer lol… at least that’ll be more fun. and I’m not throwing anyone bread crumbs, if you want something go get it, no one’s having my crumbs.

            you’re no different from the typical narrow minded person who sees gay people as evil, the difference is you’re bringing your own narrow mindedness from the other direction, doesn’t make it less stupid though, just so you know.

            if you think yammering and insulting people like this will get them to change, then according to Paul ‘you’re of all men most miserable’ …well at least you can thrive as a member of the cast for Les Miserables. lol

            you have bad attitude towards people who don’t agree with your opinion, you’re rude, you’re bitter and angry. I wonder how you keep relations with people, I doubt you do anyway.

            grab a smoothie or something and relax your small head. value is what wins the battle of ideals not physical combat. if more valuable people came out as gay, and those that are already out start to add value to those around them, people will have a rethink. blacks didn’t get freedom my farming sugarcane, they did by showing that they could think like every rational human. so stop fighting and start doing.

          • You’ve proven to be a worthless dweeb, no need engaging in a conversion with you. Buzz me after you check your IQ score & make sure it’s not 2 digits, because the way you sound sure as hell looks like a two digit IQ folk. And for the record , if you think you’re happier than I am, then you’re more lost than I thought.And I also dont think youre that good of a player in the pro evolution you claim to love. Go and educate yourself and stop living in the primitive ways of your fore fathers and stop being such a heady prick…

          • shakespeareanwalter

            Max, calm down. lol. The blood on this post though. Let us get back to the goodness of Kenny Badmus’ coming out. 😀

      • oh..and my very long commen is @Max … I hope you’ll understand this time, else I can’t help you.

        • Max, I recommend you read this book ‘weep not child’, just the title though, so you can stop weeping, lmao…besides you might not be able to comprehend the content seeing as simple English I too simple for your royal highness.

          your IQ Is pretty high I can see that, very high, in fact, the highest in the world… lol.. but wait o, what have you ever invented? did you get a scholarship in school? have you written anything smart in your entire life before? how has your IQ been of any service to humanity? I doubt it has been, you see, to me you’re one of those worthless piece of sh*ts that walk around with an ego so high, one can commit suicide jumping from it down your IQ. just because your ‘IQ is too high’ to understand simple things does not make them wrong… argumentum ad ignorantia, your ignorance of something does not make another’s knowledge of it invalid.

          and yes, I can’t play PES, in fact, it bores me, I don’t fancy it… but I’m willing to put myself through the torture of playing it than join your ePro-gay bitterness. you can yab me now cos I can’t play pes, like its a criteria for anything.. lol

          go for therapy.. I’m sure they’ll be glad to have lmao.. “my name is max and I am a septic tank” ….lmao… high IQ kwa??

  3. all these paedophiles, robbers, politicians, assassins that will be crying gay gay sef…

  4. Smart way to promote his book. “Exodus”, eh?

  5. Lol at the fighting here. Mark v. Max. Well, this homosexuality thing has always left me a bit confused and I have always been careful om having too strong an opinion on stuff I don’t understand. I have a gay friend, finest guy I know for some reason they seem to nw blessed with good looks. I act like I don’t know he’s gay cos’ it was an uncomfortable topic and now it’s a crime I’m not too sure he will be talking about it anytime soon. I which it wasnt criminalised. I have maintained it was an ignorant move. There are too many things plaguing Nigeria to give morality any bother. There really should be an aspect of morality the law should not touch.

    • shakespeareanwalter

      ‘…for some reason they seem to nw blessed with good looks. …’

      Hahahahahaahhaa!!! Oh good God, that cracked me up real good.

  6. Max or whatever you call yourself, sniffing around for homophobic statements/comments like you did Mark’s, is a really immature thing to do and I must say that you are a disgrace to the LGBT community, if you truly belong there.

    First off, people don’t have to support you 100% before you can be convinced that they don’t hate you. Even from family members, you can’t always have that. Second, they don’t have to “accept” your sexuality. Truth is, what you get most of the time is “tolerance”. What that means is that they can put up with you. You don’t go shoving acceptance and 100% support down people’s throats. That’s the lamest thing I’v heard from a gay person. Attitudes like this is what makes the gay community hated the more. When you spew hate, hate is what you get.

    What Mark said about having no issues with gay people since it doesn’t stop them from doing what they have to do, and as long as they don’t hit on him, is actually what you get from those straight people who you think give you “100% support”. You can only get that kinda support from the gay community. You know how to sniff, right? Sniff it bro! Even lesbians and female bisexuals (particularly in Nigeria), dislike gay men (dunno why though) so you see that you are just seeking for notice? Well, I see you.

    P.S Deactivate that attack mode, it doesn’t fit you. Acceptance is a gradual process.

    • shakespeareanwalter

      Lesbians don’t like homosexual men? That’s a first I’ve heard of it.

      Well, except that one time on Modern Family. 🙂

  7. Kenny shartered the glass cealing in Nigeria. Wow! I am forever proud of him. I love him to death. I hope gay guys in high places will through this step on to the floor and dance for human rights by coming out and by challenging ignorance that leaves Nigeria as a perishing nation.

  8. Weird right? Eight out of ten lesbians/bisexuals I know think it’s totally weird for two guys to be together. And that’s weird. Try taking a poll.

    • shakespeareanwalter

      Wait o, just so I understand you perfectly, you’re saying that 8 out of 10 women who sleep with women and 8 out of 10 men and women who sleep with men and women that you know think its weird for men to sleep with men? #AskingForMyPeaceOfMind

  9. I hate when gay people quote the bible. They always pick the verse which talks about God’s love irrespective of their predicament. However the same bible condemns all forms of sexual perversion including homosexuality in Leviticus. Stop using God’s word the way it suits you.

    • You know the people who are most guilty of the hypocrisy of cherrypicking bible verses? Christians who want to condemn gay people.

      • I understand what you mean. I have no problem with gay people. I just hate it when they use the bible to support the act. I see homosexuality as a sin. The same way I see lying, stealing and any other sin. Still I don’t go around condemning liars neither do you see liar or thieves coming out to say they are right. If you aren’t a Christian and you are gay. Cool. But they shouldn’t come and use religion to support their claims. Gay people are humans. Sure.if I had a gay friend I would treat him the same way I treat my straight friends. But according to my beliefs the act is wrong and I hope they change.

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