Home / Visitor's Corner / IN HER OPINION: The Girl Code


For a long time, whether in conversations or debates, magazines or books, I’ve heard or come across these three words: The Girl Code.

Now, the most prominent rule of this so-called code is that you cannot marry your friend/sister/cousin’s ex; whether ex-boyfriend, ex-fiancé, or ex-husband.

Many women have been persuaded to leave relationships, based on the fact that their partner had once been in a relationship with one of their relatives, friends or best friends.

The one which I find ridiculous is when the alleged friend of the girl in the relationship is now married, has children and still insists on her friend not going out with or marrying her ex. If the reasons were different, for instance, if the friend knows her ex had a venereal disease, is abusive, a miser or without ambition, I can understand.

In such a case, I would expect that friend to expressly spell out her objections to the friend who’s dating her ex and then leave her to make an informed, adult decision, whether to go ahead or not.

Thinking on this has led me to ask a few questions, which I need help with getting the answers.

  1. Who wrote this Girl Code?
  2. What are the other rules in this Code? ‘Cos the only one I’ve heard about is this ‘Ex Rule’.
  3. Where can I get a copy of the Code?
  4. Seeing as many of us are someone’s ex, what becomes of us if we decide to follow this Code?

Written by Eketi Ette

About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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  1. Well..Common sense wrote for us…one of d other rules include u don’t snitch on your best friends…girls r never so forgiving…etc…u will av to kill a sensible girl and chop off her head den her heart..a mixture of both gives u a copy of d code…its not like u can’t date d person…it depends on d reason dey broke up…if d girl traveled out and so distance happened.. but she is now married den you can’t…but d guy happened to b d one who disVed your friend..hell no!!!…u cant…she will forever b attached to him…

    • shakespeareanwalter

      Forever be attached to him? Even when she has moved on to another relationship is supposed to be happy in it?

    • Forever attached ke? And she managed to marry someone else? Really?

    • TheLadyWithTheAfroLocs

      attached kwa? story for the gods…
      i am not attached to the guy o…and i know plenty other ladies who have so moved on with their lives…
      attached????!!!!! hell no!

  2. Lol @ the questioNs. But personally,I don’t think I would want to date a friends ex tho… Too much history abeg, especially if she is a close friend.

  3. Another code; never agree that your friend’s ex’s girlfriend is hotter than your friend… Even if she is.

  4. The Girl code was written in 1802 by Cari Stinson! That’s right, She’s related to Barney Stinson who’s ancestor also wrote the bro code. Other rules are: you shall not poach your friends Bf/husband, you shall not call a friend fat, the enemy of your friend is your enemy even if the person has never done anything to you or know you exist! In the revised edition done by Osasu Stinson in 1990, other important issues like asoebi(you must buy even if it bankrupts you) were addressed. To get the book check amazonian.she or shehawk.girl. The solution to this no ex bfish is to simply not have female friends or have your parents arrange and sign a legally binding contract with a boy before you both turn 3!

  5. Who wrote d code? Dude! It’s unwritten! Tis somfin we all know to exist n which shld not be broken. But as u noted, I don’t see y a lady who is now married wld not want her friend to enjoy wat she formerly enjoyed. Lol!

  6. The girl code is just another word for common sense and camaraderie among ladies…And it doesn’t just include the ex rule.There is also d rule that stipulates that if u see another female in some sort of distress anywhere ask if u can help..e.g:drunk and alone at a bar or club…….Amongst many others

  7. BTW I’m an avid follower of d Girl code…*just saying*

  8. Many a lady will miss out on their Mr Right because of all these nonsenses nansense dem dey follow.

  9. Same code applies to guys too…..but I am also a follower of such code….no matter the reasons biko!!!!

  10. Girl code kini? Abeeeeg! How many ladies actually follow these ridiculous codes? From experience, ladies don’t really like themselves. And the ones that do, are few. Girl Code, my pinkie toe! Ladies, please, if you find a guy that makes you happy, go ahead. Just don’t poach. That’s the only code I subscribe to.

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