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IN HER OPINION: Gender, Gender…..Goose And Gander

Men cheat. The percentage of men cheating is higher than that of women.

Who calculated this percentage? No one has been able to tell me.

What I think, based on what I’ve seen and heard?

I think that while many men were busy flaunting their sexual prowess and their Nigerian-culture-given right to cheat, the women learned a valuable skill.

While men were busy showing off side chicks aka mistresses, aka assistant wives, women learnt something.

They learned to never get caught.

I had a lecturer in the university, who used to say that only your mother knows who your true biological father is. After the things I’ve seen and heard, I agree with him.

Women cheat? Yeah.

Many Nigerian women cheated, are currently cheating and are planning to cheat on their partners?

Oh yeah!

***

This car, man-driven, brushes this other car, woman-chauffeured.

They both get down and start exchanging blame. Back and forth, back and forth. Then without warning, the woman gives the man a resounding 360-degree-dislocate-your-jaw-and-cause-the-spectators-to-gasp kind of dirty slap.

The men amongst the bystanders rush to hold him.

“Oga, calm down…”

“Oga, abeg no beat am back…”

“Bros, na woman. Abeg leave am…”

“Sir, let her go. You can’t beat a woman…”

The woman in question is still yelling and threatening more spectacular slaps.

I, Eketi, were I to be a man, would’ve slapped her back. A slap for a slap na gender equality.

Violence is violence, whether meted out by a man or a woman. If the roles were reversed, everyone would’ve called the man a monster. I can’t think of anything ruder than physically assaulting a total stranger, in the middle of the road, while arguing over a car.

It is no excuse that the man is physically stronger than the woman; she should have thought of that before baptizing another adult’s face with her mannerless phalanges.

It is also not an excuse to say that he should be more mature or have honour and walk away; honour and maturity aren’t gender specific.

I imagine what that woman’s husband must be going through. Bros, kpe. Sorry. Ndo. Pele. Desolée. Siento.

  • Women are not the only victims.
  • Some men are suffering!
  • Do unto others, exactly as you’d like them to do to you.
  • Give what you expect.
  • Say no to violence of any kind.

Written by Eketi Ette


About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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13 comments

  1. Supported, Eketi.

    This is my problem with mainstream feminism…it quickly becomes sexist while fighting the vice itself. Gender equality is fair and just, not partia-partia.

    • shakespeareanwalter

      Lol. Some feminist sha. Be talking about fighting for gender equality, when really they’re angling for feminine royalty. Some feminists, I said o. #BeforeI’llLoseMyHeadJohnTheBaptistStyle

  2. Ghen ghen! It’s on.
    Any woman pinch me, I slap back. Eketi had said so and we all know how she speaks for the entire women folk

  3. I really liked this from Eketi. Some women are actually the aggressor, attacking a man you cannot beat.

  4. A slap for a slap na gender equality. Lwkmd.

  5. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

  6. Eketi dey always make sense!
    I especially like that this article is coming from a female. it is balanced and unbiased, these are rare qualities among the champions of gender equality.

  7. Very creative style of writing. Although I don’t totally agree with all the concepts but it gives a good insight

  8. Co-sign!! No to violence from any gender. I abhor it

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