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I’m Not That Wicked

I will die. You will die. We all will die.

But not today.

I stand under the lone yellow bulb with my hood up. You can see me, but you can’t scream. Mummy has told me times without number to always dress properly. She wants me to wear gloves and aprons and all that scary stuff.

I never listen, rebel that I am. I don’t know why she doesn’t like my fashion sense, when she doesn’t dress properly herself. She’s always wearing bandages. But then again, she’s the mummy.

And that is completely irrelevant to the task at hand. I like my hood up, it makes me look like a real killer. My knife is touch-and-tear sharp. I know what I have to do.

I have dropped you onto the hard wooden floor.

I run my hands along your rear. I do not squeeze or pinch. I just caress and leave the hands there, so you’ll understand that I own you.

I own you and your sweetness. Lawd, I love your skin.

I love you, I really do. You just don’t understand.

Next, I bring in your brothers. They are already half dead.

I smile.

I let your brothers see me. They want to scream, but they cannot.

I arrange it so that you are the last.

I want to watch you watch everything that I do.

I lick my lips, then I sink my knife into the first brother. No, not too deep, just beneath the skin…

He cannot scream. Pity.

Slowly, I push the blade back. Slowly, I peel off the skin.

I read once, that a woman in Australia did this to her husband, flayed off his hide right down to his hairy bottom. Apparently, the man was something like a toothpick and the wife was so fat, it’s not even funny.

This cruel woman, when she was done, hung the ‘suit’ of her husband’s skin on the front door, for their kids to see when they got home.

Eventually, she was arrested…

But listen, I’m not that wicked.

You curse me in all the languages you know and I don’t even pause. I cannot hear you.

When I’m done with skinning your brother, I place my knife on his tummy and slowly, ever so slowly, cut him open.

You let out another silent scream, but I’m humming Bruno Mars’ Treasure.

I dip my hand into the belly. I remove everything I see there, till it’s almost like I carved it.

I lick my lips and move to the next.

You scream. You do not have a mouth, so you just fire mental expletives at me. I shall not talk about blood and gore here. But I shall paint you the portrait.

I go through your brothers, one by one.

I skin them, cut them open.

Skin them, cut them open.

Skin them, cut them open… Until mummy comes in, singing an Egyptian lullaby.

I whisper into your ears: “My friend, you are next.”

Mummy shakes her head. “No, ‘Hannu. Put them in the fridge.”

I nod.

I pack the skins and seeds away.

I too like my paw-paw chilled.

Written by Johannu Afere


About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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30 comments

  1. OMG!!!This is wickedness Walter. Loved it.

  2. OMG!!!This is wickedness Walter. Loved it.To think i was enjoying the gruesome picture painted thinking it was a human. #Anyibaba is rubbing off on me#

  3. Hahaha.. I saw it coming.. Just didn’t figure it’d turn out to be a paw-paw…
    Nice Job

    First to read and comment.. YaaaY!

  4. Hehehehe. Hannu why did u lead my poor soul on? 🙁 Now I’ll never be able to peel pawpaw with a pure heart & one mind. (۳º̩̩́_º̩̩̀)۳

  5. I don’t want this kind of paw-paw o!

  6. Oh the suspense!!! See me thinking it was a human. Nice writing there Mr Hannnu

  7. Ds guy don kolo. Seriously

  8. Well done oh, to peel pawpaw now nor go dey innocent again, na your yeye description go fill person mind, continu you hear, continu…Wickedt Walter

  9. Dis guy na twisted writer aswear. Haba. Wetin?

  10. Lol…lovely twist!
    Kai, all these cruelty you are sharing…

  11. lools…mehn my heart was beating fast i was mentally insulting the supposed killer…u guys wud now make me feel like a murderer now anytime i want to cut cut, watermelon,pawpaw, pineapple… great one

  12. *applauding* Aw! This is an absolutely brilliant and extremely creative masterpiece of writing! You totally both blew me off and away like POOF! Double whammy! I got quite the thrill reading through and the best part for me is gotta be the Pawpaw fruit at the end! I concur Sir, you aint wicked at all, nuh-uh! Not by several long shots! You’re just an harmless soul in dire need of some Pawpaw fruit treat! Wowzer! Kudos! LOL

  13. Evul something somebory…
    Why are people like this?!
    SMH

  14. Chai! The last surviving paw paw witnessed a gruesome murder. Lol. And you are not that wicked at all.

  15. Walter! Why naa, u got me so scared I’ve started thinking what kind of killer b dat only to find out it was paw paw that were being murdered! Chai!!! Walter!!!! Diaris God o!!!!

  16. This is a twisted soul, the making of a psycho. He needs to be groomed further, skinning rabbits should be next

  17. For a moment i tot hian walter a biakwa ozo. All this vampire stories e neva tire am only to get to the end and this story is abt paw paw.Na wa for writing. Good one though.

  18. Now I can’t look at a pawpaw innocently… Loved it absolutely tho.

  19. Hian! Walter. This is sheer wickedness o. All this stuff about paw-paw? Diaris God o. I enjoyed it tho…and thinking of it now, I ve missed reading. Hope y’all av been good.

  20. i read the first few lines, got to the mummy and bandages line, and totally had to go check the name, i totally knew it had to be Hannu. great job as always.

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