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HUMOUR COLUMN: To Cook Or Not To Cook?

So let us settle this once and for all – this cooking thing, because if I leave you Nigerians, you people will argue it until Judgement day, or you run out of data and people to argue with.

So the wonderful “Daddy G.O.” – as he is fondly called – said and I quote:

“Do not marry a girl who cannot cook and pray for one hour.”

And I think he is totally right. After all, he has been married for a really long time, like some people wisely pointed out. Yes, for example, if Mugabe gives you advice on how to rule a people, you have to take it, because he has been ruling Zimbabwe long, before some of you were born, so he knows what he is talking about.

Yet, I have some questions, to ask Daddy G.O. – even though I’m not sure if mere mortals are allowed to question Daddy G.Os, because according to some people, they are ‘anointed’; it doesn’t matter if they have been accused and found guilty of rape, murder or fraud.  Anointing covers a multitude of sins – or is it love? I am not so sure anymore.

So since I cannot question him, let me just question mere mortals like me.

First Question: Is Daddy G.O. always right? Don’t be too quick to answer; remember Reverend King was a G.O. too, that his followers were told he was anointed until he was caught red-handed. Amen? So I ask once again: Is Daddy G. O. always right? Could there be a chance that he did not use the right words or say the right things?

Second Question: If I say, “Women, don’t marry a man who cannot cook”, am I wrong? That is also a trick question. Amen? Think before you answer.

What if I say, “No woman should get married if she does not have a job”?

Or if I say, “No woman should marry a man who cannot pray for one hour?”

What if I tell you that the golden rule given by Jesus is this: Do to others what you want them to do to you. Will you say I have become a pastor, that you came here to laugh not to listen to bible verses?

So if you like food to be ready by the time you get home, do you think she doesn’t? If you like breakfast as soon as you wake up, don’t you think she deserves the same expectation?

Third Question: Is there a cooking gene? If you say there is, are you not stupid? If you say this is the way my mother cooked for my father, will you also say this is the way we used to kill twins? If you cannot see that times have changed, then should who will cook be the more pressing problem?

And if breastfeeding the baby and cleaning the house and cooking for you is her responsibility, what is yours?  And if you say, “I go out to work”, then if you have a woman working in your office, what then is the difference?

Lastly, if you admire women who are strong, able to stand on their feet and make decisions, why then do you insist that your wife is first of all a cook given to you by nature?

After thinking all this through, you may come to realize that a cook is a job description, not something anyone is born with. It is a skill that is learned, which everyone should either have or hire someone to do for them.

So to cook or not to cook should be an individual decision, not mandatory expectation. People that buy food or hire cooks are not dead. Daddy G.O. merely said what he thinks. And he is not always right.

Amen?

Written by Chika Jones, tweets @chika_jones


About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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9 comments

  1. Amen and Amen.. Praise the Lord.

  2. Amen Chika!!! Amen ooo. Finally I hope this discussion will come to an end, cos this is obviously end of story…

  3. I can see that someone wants anointing to break him into pieces!! How can Daddy GO not always be right?? *spray self with SCOAN water* I shalln’t be a part of this blasphemy, mbok!! 😂😂😂

  4. And the church says Amen!

  5. Preach preacher!!🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿honestly,to cook or not to cook?haba!hubby brought this up yesterday.he was all about the statement being correct.🙄I asked him why would a man marry a lady that doesn’t know how or want to cook?dude,if you like food so much,marry the woman that is willing to cook every second.dont ruin the life of a sister that told you from the onset she can’t cook and you, in your twisted mind set, marries her and want “to make a woman” of her.come on,that’s the height of hypocrisy!!even hostage situation!!As for the prayer session.lets be fair.where in the bible did they say only the wives’ prayers are allowed into heaven?like seriously?why can’t we pray together?why can’t we build the family together?pray for one hour?husband,pray for that one hour too.inukwa?!!heaping all responsibilities on a woman’s head,but when her opinion is viewed,you will hear scathing comments like “don’t Mind her,she’s a woman”!gerrahia!!!

  6. Amen brother Chika. Amen. Bless you. Whooop!

  7. Ok, I’m kinda done. The prayer own, abeg, he was talking to pastor’s, it was not a general meeting. Abeg, pastor/ pastor’s wife that cannot pray for 1hr, which kind of pastor is that? For the cooking own, biko to everyman his own. Sha don’t later use edible catering as an excuse to cheat later

  8. When Jesus was teaching and Martha was cooking up a storm, He did not praise her and her cooking, but Mary who sat at His feet. I should assume ALL men and women ought to know how to cook. After all, when you are on your own will you starve?

    We’ve made Marriage itself an idol and worship at its altar. We’ve made ‘marriage material’ national debate… While Jesus likely sits bewildered as we let IDPs starve to death.

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