The past week has been revealing. Here are a few things the first few days of Buhari’s rule has taught me.
- Change is still scarce in Nigeria, in every way.
- Now we know why the former president, Olusegun Obasanjo named his book ‘My Watch’. That man is psychic on so many levels, that is why he has comfortably handpicked two presidents after his own rule.
- It is possible to buy a watch worth ten million naira from the milk and meat provided by 150 cows. Yes, I know you all think it is difficult, but it really is. Seriously. It just takes plenty of hard work, business acumen, calculation and cows that excrete diamond.
- Buhari has great genes. He must have been a lady killer when he was younger, figuratively and literally.
- All it takes to become a woman is surgery. And plenty of confusion.
Let’s stop there for a moment; I know it’s none of my business, but does North West now have two grandmothers? And is Kim Kardashian’s new baby going to be named South West?
- I really need to get a job.
- As the president of a country, you need a minimum of two dozen advisers. I guess that is why GEJ failed, and Buhari is on the right track. Yes, because the more advisers you have, the more people you can pass the blame to when things go wrong. The Press says, ‘Oh my God! Half of Nigeria has been blown off by Boko Haram. What were you doing, Mr. President?’ And Buhari goes, ‘Oh, it’s not my fault. That is Adviser 6’s fault. Off with his head!’
Now, these are mine. What about you? What have you learned from Buhari’s few days in Office? I’d love to hear from you guys.
Written by Chika Jones, tweets at @chika_jones