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HUMOUR COLUMN: The Apology

When I wrote my first piece for the Humor Column, I loved the response I got. So I kept on writing. Week after week, I would sit in front of my computer and try to wring some humour out of the drudgery of daily existence. Sometimes I succeeded; other times, not so much. Yet, never a week passed without comments, positive mostly, and sometimes negative.

Three weeks ago, I was rushing out for a lecture, and I stepped on my laptop. My heart stopped momentarily, and I proceeded to slowly open the laptop, praying, but it was broken, well and truly broken. So for three weeks, I ran around, in between lectures, assignments, work and project, to fix it. It cost far more than I expected, and during those weeks, I told Walter we would have to put the column on hold.

One of my avid readers sent me a message on BBM, asking why the articles had stopped coming. I replied that my laptop was bad and I had my hands full preparing for my final examinations, that I had told my publisher about my enforced hiatus.

He replied with this question: “So, Walter na your only reader?”

I spent about fifteen seconds contemplating that message, and then shame washed over me. I had taken my readers for granted. I’d felt they could wait until I was ready again. I had put my needs first.

So today, I will simply say ‘I am sorry’ to all of you who read this column weekly, whether you comment or not. I appreciate you all, and I promise never again to let a week pass without trying to bring an extra smile to your faces and laughter to your homes.

Now let’s play twenty questions:

  1. For the Nigerians suing DSTV, I would like to ask a question. What would be the best way to boycott DSTV – by everyone switching to GOTV, or by dragging DSTV to court?
  2. We have a new president-elect, so I’m guessing the WAEC results were either found, or we just don’t care that much about the educational qualifications of our president. Which is it?
  3. Can you name one country in the world where the masses are very happy with their Federal Government?
  4. Why would you employ a nanny via OLX? Some people do not even trust OLX enough to buy phones from them.
  5. Given their recent public behavior, how did Elder Orubebe and Oba Rilwan Akiolu get to their current positions?
  6. “Some Igbo people are pirates.” Who said this? Why did he say it? And why did he say this immediately after the lagoon threat?

Commenter of the first correct five questions out of six gets a gift . . . from Walter.

Written by Chika Jones, tweets at @chika_jones


About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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26 comments

  1. shakespeareanwalter

    LMAO!
    You are not serious, Chika.

  2. Henry-Agubaohia Chinedu

    Lol chika better take time. And oh are we still playing 20 questions?

  3. U asked d questions! So u’ll be d one to give d gifts not Walter jare

  4. Na waec,Jamb abi post UTME question be dis?? Smh

  5. How we wan take boycott dstv go Gotv? They are one and the same. In fact we have already started paying with the new tariff on Gotv.
    Its best to leave both of them and face maybe CTL or CAN tv.

  6. Welcome back, hope Walter bought a brand new laptop for you.

  7. Lets play my own question. Can I have the gift before answering the questions? You know, it makes the brain sharper as they are tough ones. Welcome back.

  8. welcome , aporogy accept.

  9. Sorry about the lappy.
    Welcome back.

  10. I shaa like ur counting skills my brither. How you can so easily round off the number 6 to a 20 is a wonder! Chike abi Chika Obi the 11th,i hail thee,welcome back. Apology under consideration shaa. Lol

  11. I am ready to answer all six questions but before i do that, can Mr. Walter confirm or deny providing the gifts (ok I know say i get big eye wey Yoruba people dey call ojukokoro)? i don’t want to hear stories about how bird shoot im mama fly (or whatever it was AY said in that movie 30 days in Atlanta).
    Thank you for the apology Chika. It’s rare to see a down to earth writer who will apologize for a simple oversight. Most often than not, writers believe they are doing us the readers a favour.
    May ur brain never go on hibernation!

  12. I guess you should go ask Omawumi these questions,then she will tell you who to ask.

    Welcome back Chiks
    *first time commenter on you column*

  13. using FOI, i need to get the answers from you first before I can proceed to attempt the questions

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