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HUMOUR COLUMN: That One About Nigerians

Nigerians can teach you a million lessons on the subject of irony, with diagrams and labels.

On one hand we are very skeptical. This is partly because every Nigerian, every real Nigerian will cheat if he feels he can get away with it. Don’t argue with me on that. So when MTN said you can win an airplane, we all laughed in scorn – No be only aeroplane. But the ironic thing is, most of us still tried to win it.

Another example is the link making the rounds – pushcv.com or something similar. I think it has something to do with immigration. (By the way, what is it with immigration always recruiting large amounts of people? Is migration our national past time?) Plus the link says: ‘…must have 0-5 years of experience.’ Now that is the major catch, it’s what makes everyone log on and register. But the question no one is asking is, experience in what? As usual, everyone is screaming scam! Scam! And as usual, everyone is registering.

Another news item making the rounds is Seyi Shay’s dress – or shall I say the lack thereof. As a friend put it, one erection would have cost GEJ the election. The starlet’s outfit has raised very complex questions in the minds of seasoned political analysts. Below are some of those questions:

  1. Why would Seyi Shay dress like that?
  2. Why?
  3. Seriously, why?

As the election date draws nearer, these questions will plague the minds of many. Personally, I gave it some thought and my theory is – follow me closely here – Seyi Shay’s wardrobe is sponsored by the APC.

Lastly, and most importantly, Dame Patience Jonathan has expounded on reasons why Nigerians should not vote for her husband’s opponents. She gave clear reasons such as old age and something about being a bus conductor. I am sure APC campaign managers are looking seriously into these claims.

Written by Chika Jones, tweets at @chika_jones


About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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7 comments

  1. *torch lit looking for the humour*

  2. Eh ehn! Talking about our grammar speaking Dame, did Amaechi really finger her? Saw something like that.

  3. @enajyte. This post is packed full with humor but not everybody ubderstands this kind of humor so it’s okay. It’s mature humor. @elvis. I saw the headlines. They didnt mean finger as in the crude sense of the word finger. They meant finger as in to probe or poke someone or rat someone out. Finger has more than one meaning. @chika. Lovely one dear. Keep it coming.

  4. But that dress ehhh…oh well. Even Beyonce won’t wear that to meet Obama. Talk more of in our more sensitive Nigeria. Oh well…

  5. Oh yeah, blame APC for the dress or lack thereof of Seyi Shay’s dress!

  6. “Why would Seyi Shay dress like that?

    Why?

    Seriously, why?” LOL

    “It won’t cost anything to try” is a major push an average Nigerian needs to subscribe to a glaring scam.

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