People that sell bad suya should be jailed. And this is because I am not in favor of the death penalty. Like you had just one job, why then will your suya taste raw?
Hello fellow Nigerians, I am a bit slow today, so can someone explain this to me. Is the dollar rising or the naira falling? Secondly, is the dollar falling or is the naira rising? Those of you that feel it is the same thing are the problem of Nigeria.
Pure water – which means any water, regardless of purity, and stored in a sachet – sold briefly for twenty naira in Owerri. One pure water, twenty naira! It would have been funny, if it was not so damn annoying. They said something about the nylon for packaging, when I asked one of the boys selling. Yet, when I researched – by which I mean, asked another person – I found out that a bag was being sold for 150, instead of 100 naira, a 50 Naira increase. Those of you that answered correctly the question I asked previously can do the Math. For those that do not take pure water, like my dear Humour Column readers Mandy, Anyi and Fifi, there are 20 sachets in one bag. Nigerians are their own worst enemy. Anyway we stuck it out, it’s not like we had any choice. I thought of dropping this damn bread hawking and going into the pure water business for a while. But then, they went back to selling it for 10 naira.
I noticed the slight difference in heft though. No one will believe me, but I swear they reduced the quantity. Bastards!
Anyway, I decided not to sell pure water. I will stick with this bread business until I photobomb somebody important like PSquare – or is it just P these days, I am not really sure. Last I heard, Glo cancelled their endorsement deal, which is kind of nice. It means Glo is at least good at something; since they cannot provide proper internet services for their subscribers.
Something similar happened with the guy Mayweather beat, Manny something-or-the-other, I can’t pronounce his name, neither can I spell it. But for a guy who practices violence for a living to be quoting bible verses regarding someone else’s sexual preference, I wish Apple had done more than cancel his endorsement. Maybe they should have made him return all the money they’d initially paid him. It’s not like he was a really good fighter. I could probably take him, if I train for about a decade.
Written by Chika Jones, tweets @chika_jones