Now, settle down people. For those who do not know, the word ‘Abobaku’ has seven letters – this includes four vowels and three consonants. Less importantly, it is a word from the Yoruba language, which is spoken largely in Western Nigeria…and some Hollywood movies. It means ‘He who will die with the king’. Just kidding, it actually means ‘He/she who will die with the king’. What? You didn’t think it was reserved only for men, did you? Yea – and research has shown that if Kim Kardashian does not upload at least one nude picture on instagram for a whole month, she is in danger of losing relevance. See my point?
Anyway, the Abobaku is someone chosen to serve the king in life and in death. If while ruling the people of Ife, the Ooni (this is the name given to the traditional ruler, because the British had already taken the other four letter word, ‘king’) happened to die, the Abobaku was to be buried with him. Now there is no need for alarm, the current Abobaku is a true Nigerian, bearing the same attitude with which we overcame Ebola – our love for life. He decided he is better off alive than dead.
Yet, have you considered ways in which you are an Abobaku?
- You have been with him for ten years. The ring is there, but he isn’t ready yet, and he isn’t making any concrete plans. Yet you stay put. You think about how the sex is good, and how he is handsome and very caring. He is so nice, he understands me, you say to yourself.
That is how the Abobaku kept eating the king’s food and getting fat.
- You have been with them for ten years, no promotion, no career growth, the same peanut salary, the same old stories, the same overtime, not seeing your kids. But you tell yourself: Employment is difficult, the company will grow and my effort will be repaid. One day things will get better.
I think the Abobaku should be brought back to die. After all, he enjoyed with the king. You however, should stop thinking like a bag of peanuts and run away.
- I have three kids with him. What will happen to the children if I leave? He has promised to stop beating me. I am the one that annoys him most times. It is because of trouble with his boss at work that he beats me at home. We have been together for many years.
The Abobaku ran when the king died. NEWS FLASH: You cannot run when you are dead.
- I think you catch the drift now. . .
- Yes, I am pretty sure you do.
Written by Chika Jones, tweets at @chika_jones