Home / Featured / HUMOUR COLUMN: Buhari 2015

HUMOUR COLUMN: Buhari 2015

First off, let me apologize for my long absence. I know a lot of you really missed reading my articles. I had to go into a kind of hibernation, so I could meditate on some things and write better in this year 2015.

*accusing silence*

Ok, that’s a lie. My phone and laptop developed faults and took some time to repair, and most of you don’t even care.

I have been considering turning this column into an advice column. These days, I have so much sagely admonitions brimming in me; I think it would be a waste not to share it. What do you guys think? Let me know later.

Meanwhile I will drop this very important piece of advice here: Always wear nice underwear, you never know when you will be in an accident.

Ok that is not very sound advice, some people know when they are going to be in an accident, like TB, but that is not my point. You don’t want to go unconscious and wake up in the hospital with your relatives staring at you like, “What the hell is he putting on?” Especially your in-laws, not a good situation, especially if you are dead.

Since I’m already on it, let us continue on to the reasons why I will advise Nigerians to vote for Buhari, come February 2015.

GREAT GENES

This man has the greatest genes God ever gave to any man, well, except for Pharrell Williams. Have you seen Buhari’s daughter? Any man that can produce such a beauty is capable of producing change in Nigeria. So, I would advise any Nigerian who truly wants change for this country to vote Buhari.

AGE

A certain bible verse tells us of the allowed age of men; it says that it is seventy. It went on to say that those who live above this age have special mightiness. (Psalms 90:10). Buhari is seventy-two; any man who has added two years to seventy has special mightiness, and given Nigeria’s problems, wouldn’t you agree that we need a man of special mightiness?

CERTIFICATE SAGA

The certificate saga is one other reason to vote for Buhari. How many men can say with boldness that their WAEC certificate got burned in a fire? He could have come up with any other excuse, but he chose Fire. And then went ahead to search for it in his Alma mater. This tells us something important, that when he becomes president, he will AGREE that the Chibok girls are missing, and then he will search for them.

So, folks, let us Vote Buhari Come 2015.

Written by Chika Jones, tweets at @chika_jones


About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

Check Also

THE HOUSEWIVES’ TALE (Episode 68)

A knock on the front door rouses me from the novel I had been trying ...

10 comments

  1. the old man is Seventy two for God’s sake. what would a man with that kind of age achieve. he has ruled Nigeria when he was younger, wen the strength was there, when he was still vibrant and very very agile, not when he is seventy two.
    same old story about change, when is the change going to happen, and what are we changing into… for me the man is too old and definitely not getting my vote

  2. erm. I get the nice underwear part. but Buhari NO. there are 12 other candidates besides this two nut cases

  3. Change? As in ten, twenty and fifty naira notes, shey?

  4. Hahaha oh but of course. Wisdom with age huh? And b4 I forget chika jones come collect a macbook to replace urs.

  5. Promised to fight corruption but already forging certificate…if that’s not corruption, what is?

  6. Wait…like 12 other candidates n Nigeria is beating herself up over this fools…
    but thinking of it…where re the other 12.

  7. Chika yoohooo! Just greeting you o.

  8. How do u like it, now that he’s d president?? D change we need abi. Nw I really understand d sayin ” better d devil you knw than the angel u don’t knw”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *