Home / Featured / HUMOUR COLUMN: 2016 Is Here, But First, about 2015…

HUMOUR COLUMN: 2016 Is Here, But First, about 2015…

For most Nigerians, 2015 has been the year we realized that it was possible for an entire nation to come to hate a single word: CHANGE.

It is also the first year in a while that we have a president who doesn’t look like he is five months pregnant.

In 2015, we learned that all it takes to get shot in the back of the head by the police in America is to be black.

This was the year we learned that the proper answer to: ‘How do you know a successful woman?’ is by first asking: ‘Is she married?’

And lest I forget, yes, an apology from the President equals fuel in your car.

In 2015, we saw the god of cancer visit Diezani, and the gods of other diseases visit others accused of looting Nigeria. So maybe the gods are on our side, since no one else is.

2015 taught us that standing in the way of soldiers is probably not a very good move.

Also that when there is a new presidential administration, the president uses the first six months to ‘do his own back’ as regards those who opposed him, before proceeding to travel around the world, to places like Malta, where I don’t even know anyone.

In 2015, we realized that the King of Chill is a Nigerian, and his name is Attahiru Jega.

We also learned that screaming “We will not take it” on national television is an acceptable response when election results are being read, with the world looking on.

In 2015, we learned that threatening genocide is part of the duties and responsibilities of the Oba of Lagos.

And that even Kanu Nwankwo can act the fool, given the right amount of money. Star Times, Nigerians will not forgive you.

In 2015, the word ‘anaconda’ took on an entirely different meaning, especially when accompanied by a possessive pronoun like ‘my’.

In 2015, a new natural resource was found in Nigeria: Humor.

We saw in 2015 that dancing is not one of the requirements to get into the Mavin crew, as Korede Bello kept acting like he was undergoing an epileptic fit in the Godwin Video.

And the strangest of it all is that 2015 ended on 31st December, unlike other years.

Written by Chika Jones, tweets @chika_jones


About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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4 comments

  1. Michael cyprian O.

    Don’t disappear on us again, Chik . Welcome back. Happy New year

  2. LOL. 2015 is a nut shell. And already 2016 has begun in the race to outdo 2015.
    Happy new year, Chika

  3. With the headies saga, 2016 is already shaping up to outdo it’s predecessor.

  4. My dear, this new natural resource is a very important one o. Considering the state of 2016, we’ll need it in large deposits to survive the year.
    Happy new year Chika.

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