Originally published on madamenoire.com

‘90s R&B songs will have you out here thinking that having a healthy sex life means hours upon hours of nonstop, back-breaking sex that spans from the evening to the wee hours of the morning. Real life, however, will have you toss out those unrealistic expectations with the quickness.

In a recent episode of The Real, the panel weighed in on how long they believe that sex should last. The conversation was based on a survey conducted by Penn State Erie researchers Eric Corty and Jenay Guardiani on 50 members of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research. Participants included psychologists, physicians, social workers, marriage/family therapists and nurses “who have collectively seen thousands of patients over several decades.” According to their findings, people found one to two minutes of sex to be too short. Three to seven minutes of sex was considered adequate. Seven to thirteen minutes of sex was voted to be desirable and ten to thirty minutes of sex was considered to be too long.

“A man’s or woman’s interpretation of his or her sexual functioning as well as [their] partners rely on personal beliefs developed in part from society’s messages, formal and informal,” the researchers said. “Unfortunately, today’s popular culture has reinforced stereotypes about sexual activity. Many men and women seem to believe the fantasy model of large penises, rock-hard erections, and all-night-long intercourse.”

The results of the survey sparked an interesting debate on The Real panel. While Adrienne Bailon felt that twenty to thirty minutes of sex—foreplay included—was fairly average, Jeanie Mai was here for the five-minute wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am sessions. Lonnie Love said that she would be down to go two brief rounds if it isn’t a work night, while Tamera Mowry expressed that she enjoys “lovemaking” that wrap after about fifteen minutes—excluding foreplay.

Obviously, the answer to this question comes down to personal preference, but generally speaking, how long do you believe sex should last? Do sound off in the comments section.

About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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  1. Sex should last as long or as short as you and your partner have time for, but this clearly depends on soooo many factors, individually! First, age. As perhaps a university student, sex can go on for-ev-er, like there isn’t anything else in life to do. Dehydrated, dry, delirious, nodding off and waking back up again, all of it. Esp. if it was a holiday break!
    But as a grown-ass person with responsibilities and obligations, that just seems pointless and punitive lol. With jobs, schedules, and MUCH better skill, and esp. if you’re in a long-term relationship, 10-30min seems about right (including foreplay). Additionally, I’m more a fan of multiple short sessions vs one long one. I’m saying, take a power nap and come back renewed!

  2. When I was younger, I liked long, drawn out sessions lol…I was also in long-distance relationship where we’d go months w/o contact, or on-again-off-again ‘ships w/ a lot of make-up s3x, had no job, and it took me super-long to relax and focus. It’s a diff set-up when a woman is more confident, has experience and in-tuned with her body. I’m more of an everyday kind of person, but I know firsthand from those long distances that absences do make the heart-and-other-things fonder lol…

  3. Short, hot and spicy sessions, thank you!

  4. Hahahaha. FOUR HOURS … Then you can wake up like Benjamin Button.lool.
    But for real, should it matter how long so far as both parties are satisfied? I don’t think.
    Nwa Ude, you did not share your own opinion oh.

  5. The wham bam five minute sessions are heavenly but the 15-20 mins sessions ( including foreplay) is also amazing…. Anything longer than that for me and u have lost me…I’d probably be thinking of my next nail polish colour or a new hairdo or probably reviewing a movie in my head

  6. The whole day! It should be like an art. With pauses to admire the masterpiece. Taken slowly, step by step until completion… lol

  7. It should be as long or short as the Lord pleases. But seriously, who cares?
    This is not about time, rather about satisfaction. The important thing is for both parties to come out of it feeling very good with themselves and dreaming of another session.

  8. As an undergrad, one session could last for an hour. I could go for 15-20 minutes now. Anything longer and you’ve lost me!

  9. Sex is an art. You will discover that the duration will change with experience and understanding. In fact, no two sexual intercourse is the same, as such the duration varies.
    Thank you. *winks*

  10. I think for-ever is the answer to that question.lol ok on a serious note,it should be from 2 to 5minutes but when a session lasts for hours..then there’s no intimacy again..just more of slamming and banging… Walt am waiting for your own response biko nu my note still has blank pages ni

  11. Lolz. Depends on the flow. Used to have someone that we could go hours and i still want more. The next one after him seemed intent on mining the coal his anuofia ancestors left in my body. So much so that his aunties couldn’t move well after a 20 minute session. It’s a no brainer that we broke up before my body became a lab specimen

  12. I prefer those early morning quickies ;the type you’ve fully dressed for work. It’s spontaneous, raunchy & comes with earth-shattering orgasm.

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