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Fashion Police: MTV Africa Music Awards 2015

Hi, it’s John Ocean again.

First of all, let me state that I was disappointed with the fashion at the MAMAs. Granted, it wasn’t the Golden Globes, but I expected African stars to bring their A-game. What was with that American comedian hosting it? So, no African could host the show? Lupita? Agbani? Oluchi? Charlize Theron? The list is endless, if they had to go the Americanah route. Instead, they brought an (African) American comedian – who did a shoddy job of hosting. Oh well, what do I know? Let me dive into the fashion biko!

THE FABULOUS

1 MAMAs Sharon MundiaSharon Mundia
I don’t know who this girl is, but she leaves me nodding in approval. This is how you show skin while still keeping things tasteful. It’s about strategically-placed cut-outs that reveal just enough skin. Her smile and side swept hair are winners. I only wish she’d popped in some color to the look.

2 MAMAs LynxxxLynxxx
This quirky look is a total winner. The shoes are the icing on the cake. I really wish he skipped the tie though! Lynxxx knocked it out of the park!

3 MAMAs PatorankingPatoranking
The color is perfect. The cut is perfect. Plus there was minimal use of accessories and no overkill. This guy was easily one of the best-dressed guys at this event!

4 MAMAs IyanyaInyanya
Number one Akpan sure looks good in red. I love when men wear color on the red carpet, and a red look on a red carpet is often difficult to wear, because if the shades are not right, you could blend into the carpet.

5 MAMAs Emmanuel IkubeseEmmanuel Ikubese
Nice suit, nice cut, even though he kinda looks uncomfortable.

6 MAMAs Taje PrestTaje Prest
She broke all the rules about dressing up while being plus-sized. And she nailed it one hundred percent! The color is amazing and her shoes add a bit of whimsy to her look. Ordinarily the embellishments on the bust area would not have worked because she is busty, but the cut-outs distort the proportions and make it work. I also loved that she skipped jewelry because the dress was already doing all the talking. She should marry her stylist biko, even if it’s a woman!

7 MAMAs Ifeoma WilliamsIfeoma Williams
This lady understands the concept of less is more. She always exudes understated elegance right from her days as Miss Lux. However she is gaining weight fast o, and it is very disturbing to me! Nne, CWO hands no go fit you o.

8 MAMAs Dotun KayodeDotun Kayode
I don’t know this dude, but I love rule breakers, and he smashed all the rules with a fashion hammer. And he sure looks good. Quirky guys get me all hot and flustered, and does it get any quirkier than kente and sneaks?

9 MAMAs Adora OlehAdora Oleh
Dress be banging!
Body be banging!
Hair be banging!
One word – SLAY!

10 MAMAs Vimbai MutinhiriVimbai Mutinhiri
I love this dress; it takes years off her, leaving her looking twenty-one. Dressing for a music award show is tricky, because you could easily look over-dressed or too casual, but I think this dress straddles that line perfectly. I especially loved that the crop was covered with sheer lace; very sexy and feminine! Good one, Vimbai.

THE HMMM, OYA LET’S MANAGE

11 MAMAs Yemi AladeYemi Alade
This is a beautiful and stunning dress, but unfortunately it does nothing for her body type. The dress is very busy and it is wearing her. I think this dress will work on someone lean and tall, who can bring proportion to it. Yemi is a bit too short and kinda stocky for this look. I wasn’t impressed.

12 MAMAs Jessica NkosiJessica Nkosi
She looks like she will be in the screen adaptation of Poison Ivy. The (obioma) tailor that made this dress was confused and left her looking like a statue in a flower garden.

13 MAMAs Stephanie CokerStephanie Coker
This dress is confusing, very confusing. Was she going for Bikini-Inspired? Or One-Shoulder-Inspired? And don’t you need a flat tummy to rock sheer? Odiegwu o!

14 MAMAs ZainaZaina
The hair, the dress, the lace, the tulle… One word – TACKY!

15 MAMAs NeyoNe-Yo
Uh-uh, too many trends at the same time. Sort out your pant lengths too.

16 MAMAs D’banjD’banj
His jacket looks like it’s made out of wrapping paper used for wedding presents. The cut is amazing, but I cannot get over the Broadway-ness of it; it looks like a costume. And get rid of that chain, please!

17 MAMAs OC UkejeOC Ukeje
He tried so hard to appear quirky. He failed miserably.

18 MAMAs Seyi ShaySeyi Shay
Was she going to bed? Looks like a night slip!

19 MAMAs Stephanie EzeStephanie Eze
Beautiful dress, wrong color! The color washes her out and makes her look too pale.

20 MAMAs Miss SA 2015 Liesl LaurietakesMiss South Africa 2015 Liesl Laurietakes
Of course, she had to come with her sash! I thought it was only that runs babe that won Miss Unilag that wakas upandan with her sash? This SA babe follow kwa… *smh*

21 MAMAs Diamond PlatinumDiamond Platinum
Wear a belt, oga! It holds your pants in and prevents your shirt from spilling out! Your shirt cuffs should not extend that long over your jacket biko!

22 MAMAs Noble IgweNoble Igwe
The fit is hideous. The waist coat clearly doesn’t fit. And what is going on with the seams of the pants? Was this made by a tailor or a carpenter?

23 MAMAs Joselyn DumasJoselyn Dumas
She is the “ukwu sara mbara” of Africa, and she does look good. However she has done this look way too many times, so much so that it’s gotten old.

24 MAMAs Jhene AikoJhene Aiko
She looks good…
If she were picking her kids from school and not going to the MAMAs.

25 MAMAs FlavourFlavour
Too much money + too little style.

THE DEAR-GOD-IN-HEAVEN

26 MAMAs CyprianCyprian
You people should not laugh joor. I know what happened here. His madam sent him on an errand to the market to buy fufu, but he stole somebody’s clothes and decided to branch to the MAMAs in all his Akpan glory. He looks like someone an Oba of Lagos would be buried with. And how does one have big belle and six packs at the same time bikonu?
Oga Cy, next time, before you steal clothes, at least make sure the person wears same size as you!

27 MAMAs Yvonne EkwerreYvonne Ekwerre
It does look like a beautiful dress, but when she turns her back, you see the terrible tailoring and stitching going on there. She even had the presence of mind to twirl around and show this horrible tailoring. Obioma tailors are clearly smiling to the bank.

28 MAMAs Bonang MathebaBonang Matheba
For a moment, during the show, I expected her to fly away with a league of bats. This mortician Adams inspired crap is a no-no biko!

29 MAMAs Casper NyovestCasper Nyovest
He ripped out his curtains and sent them to a tailor to make a jacket. Mbanu, this does not work. A floral jacket on a man never comes out well, except of course, you are EJ.

30 MAMAs SolidstarSolidstar
It’s great that an undertaker was invited to the show, because Davido would have died if Wizkid had won that award. The organizers would have needed an undertaker to take him out.

31 MAMAs PsquarePSquare
These are the worst dressed twins since the beginning of mankind. They never ever get it right. Tufia! They’re always decked out in expensive, gaudy crap. They need to hire a stylist like yesterday.

32 MAMAs SHiiKaneSHiiKane
Sisterhood of the suffering dress!
And ladies, if you are going to rock ab cut-outs, try staying away from fufu for a while!

33 MAMAs 2face IdibiaTuface
Where do I even start? I feel like Eniola Badmus’ cosmetic surgeon…where do I start? Tuface has an amazing body, but he always wears crap. Who buys his clothes biko? An ex-girlfriend? Dude did not even bother to iron his shirt. And what’s up with those shoes? Is he under house arrest?

34 MAMAs Vanessa MdeeVanessa Mdee
*dials Uselu Psychiatric Hospital* Yes, the escaped patient has been spotted and she looks dangerous. Please send a team immediately, thank you!

My best dressed for the night is Vimbai, but she is clearly a one-eyed man in the land of blind men. And my worst dressed is Yvonne Ekwerre for wearing a horribly-stitched dress!
I would like to hear your thoughts, guys!

Photo credit: Bellanaija.com


About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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6 comments

  1. So many bulges in the lower front region of some males here! Wetin happen na??

    Anyway, I disagree on some of your choices, but wetin consign me?!

    • shakespeareanwalter

      Why don’t you tell us which ones you disagree with? 🙂 *placing Edeeth on the Fashion Police hotseat* 🙂

  2. Hahahahahahahahahahaa John Ocean don come again. That one about bats… O yoo ko pa mi!

  3. That Vanessa Mdee looks like a Lady-Gaga-I-Must-Be

  4. I think the twins belong to the let’s manage group. They don’t really look as bad. Nice analysis as usual, John O.

  5. Hahahahhahaha! Spot on! Spot on! I agree with all if it!

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