Home / Featured / CRIMINALLY INSANE: Edition 7


MY PEOPLE, hear word o!!!! This is a plea, a warning… However you want to see it. But, receive sense, my people.

I hear the latest ‘craze’ now is to visit all these ‘computer’ people where they will ‘check’ you with a machine. You visit with their ‘consultants’, part with huge sums of money and they will give you a ‘diagnosis’.


Brother, you now coman go to the ‘computer people’ (your words not mine), they used the ‘machine’ to check you, and they now told you the diagnosis is Benign Prostate Cancer and that you have Prostate Syndrome. You now coman be asking me what you will do, ehkwa? Mbok, goan be seeing the ‘doctor’ and ‘consultant’ that gave you the diagnosis o. Or see the resident shrink for a head check. Ike gwukwaa!

Reason: I have said this before. There is a reason the doctors wear ward coats and walk the hallways of hospitals. There is a reason they spend time, money, sweat, tears and blood in school. They don’t do all these to occupy space like matter. Mba! When in doubt, SEE YOUR DOCTOR! Follow his instructions strictly. Have a discussion with him, feel free to ask him questions and demand answers. If you are not satisfied, you reserve the right to seek a referral to another doctor. Visiting all these ‘computer and machine people’ is just a coward’s cop out; a lazy man’s idea. They are not the same as the professionals; the difference is 7up – VERY CLEAR! For instance, no doctor will diagnose Benign Prostate Cancer. You either have a benign tumour or a malignant tumour. Like I have said time and again, when in doubt, ask your doctor to avoid Super Stories and further complications of issues that should have been resolved without drama.

ARE YOU having adverse reactions to your medications? Go back to your doctor. In doubt about the testing procedures? The doc’s in. Your symptoms resurfacing? Time for a check up. Receive sense this coming year and befriend your doctor (I didn’t say stalk him o).

Happy New Year, people; do endeavour to remain healthy and wise.

PS: PathCare Nigeria is still in the business of accurate and timely diagnostics. Visit www.pathcarenigeria.com for a list of locations near you.

Written by Nene Ezike

About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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  1. I don’t get some people sha. If you know you will eventually come to a healthcare professional to ask what you will do with the ‘diagnosis’ the ‘computer people’ (still laughing at that) gave you, why not go there in the first place and circumvent all the quackery you had to go thru first?

    • shakespeareanwalter

      It’s like the MTN customers who lose their lines and then go to roadside people to retrieve it. They get charged sums that vary from 800 to 1000naira and given a sim that would never be swapped. And then after a few days of fretting over a non-working line, the customers would then come to an MTN office to complain about the line they retrieved which isn’t working.
      I look at them and want to berate them. Like really, you could eventually come to an MTN office to complain. Why didn’t you come the first time to retrieve it for a new sim that costs just 150 and an instant connection after you leave?

  2. Very timely message… It’s 2016 for Pete’s sakes… Don’t be a lab rat ..quack na quack mbok

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