Home / Featured / CRIMINALLY INSANE: Edition 4


We are still on the matter of FAITH, because that is where the mumurity abounds. So, in today’s edition, we shall look into more issues of national importance pertaining to this important series.

OGA SIR, well done o. I heard you now DAMA’d (discharged against medical advice) your ten-year-old son, who by the way was diagnosed with an Autoimmune Disease (SLE), and you took him to your church for deliverance because the doctors couldn’t treat ‘ordinary malaria’ and pastor had said they saw the hand of the ‘evil one’ on the said boy in a vision. Please, just go and collect bed in the ward. I kent deal!

Reason: I may need help with reasoning the above scenario out because this is just painful. You are in the hospital already. The medical team are already handling the case. It is sad that such a thing is happening to a child and a lot of money may have gone into managing this case, but my people, ALWAYS listen to your managing physician. They don’t study, wear white coats in the hospital and walk around just because. Unless the doctor is a confirmed unethical blockhead, listen to him. He knows best how your case should be managed medically. People have died from manageable illnesses because they don’t listen to their doctors, and it is amazing because they choose to listen to unqualified people who will now go and worsen their case, and then, when they are already about to die, they will rush back to hospital for a miracle. Your doctor is not a magician. If you follow his instructions and actually have a discussion with him, you can enjoy a very good quality of life.


SO, YOUR teenage son is sick and needs to be transfused, and you are in the lab to donate. Very good. But, Oga, your levels are low o. In fact, it is hazardous to your health for you to donate. We have told you this and have given you an option of getting another donor or taking from the blood bank, but you have refused Option B and you don’t have another donor. In fact, your pastor has told you that in any event anyone in your family should need a blood transfusion, that family member must ‘collect’ from a fellow family member so that ‘generational curses and demons or some other things’ will not be transferred if he or she ‘collects’ from a stranger. So, you are now constituting a nuisance and insisting you must donate. And your child needs that transfusion as a matter of urgency. I hear you. Oga, you need Jesus! Your load is in Isolation Ward A.

Reason: No one will bleed you as a donor if you don’t pass the tests. It is that cut and dried. No one wants to go to jail for doing the right thing and getting into trouble, and ignorance is no defence. If you opt to donate blood, make sure you are fit to donate. If you are not, quietly go home until you are fit. People have ‘cheated’ so they can donate blood (as commercial donors o) and have gone into shock afterwards. What is the use of being dead because of a few bucks? And be informed, the only thing which is transferred in a transfusion procedure is the tissue (in this case, blood and its components), not household property or demons or whatever. Receive sense, brethren. And be guided.

YOU AND your wife are experienced in ‘malaria’ treatment abi? Any little fever, you go to ‘chemist’ and mix drugs for malaria and come back. After all, it is ‘ordinary malaria’. O di mma. You are ill and will not go to hospital. “Is it not ordinary malaria?” you say. Ngwa, your case is mild. See the doctor is Consulting Room 1 for observation.

Reason: Malaria is not ‘ordinary’. If it were, we would not have the kind of statistics we have on it. We wouldn’t have the many agencies and global funds for research for it. We wouldn’t generally care, that is my point. That said, not every fever is a precursor for malaria. Fever is a non specific symptom. Self medication is a dangerous act. Be guided. Stop increasing the tally of patients suffering from kidney failure in our hospitals because you were careless with your health. When you are ill:

  1. See a qualified doctor.
  2. Obey him and carry out any investigations he may give you.
  3. Ask him questions. It is your health and your body after all.
  4. Take all medications according to prescriptions. If symptoms persist, GO BACK TO YOUR DOCTOR or request for a referral.
  5. If you start feeling funny while on your medications (Adverse Drug reactions), please, document the reactions and tell your doctor so he will advice further. Don’t take another person’s prescriptions! Two of you are not the same genetically!

A WORD OF KNOWLEDGE: Umu nwanyi ibe m, this is for you. Have you heard about Rhesus Factor? Speak to your doctor about it on your next antenatal visit if you have not done so. For the about-to- marry sisters, include Blood Grouping to your list of pre marital screenings. You see, if you are Rhesus incompatible with your oga, it may not be very wise to marry him o. I said ‘may’. So, seek medical counselling if you are Rhesus negative (Rh –ve) and your oga is Rhesus positive (Rh +ve). If you are already married and you have a child but you don’t know your Rhesus status and you find you are having miscarriages, it is not ‘worm orinwa’. It may be Rhesus Isosensitisation or some other autoimmune wahala. Whatever, sha, see your doctor for more investigations and stop wasting money on herbal medicine or prayer houses.

Until next update, keep being healthy and sensible. Tell your brothers! Ya Gazie.

A word of thanks to our sponsors, Path-Care Nigeria. Know Your Numbers today. Visit www.pathcarenigeria.com for more information.

Written by Nene Ezike

About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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  1. The ignorance of mankind can be very shocking. That first admonition is a very real disease. Discharging your ward from medical care or flouting medical advice just because your pastor said or because your neighbour knows one spiritual leader who said… Jeezuz! The abjectness of Nigerians’ faith is almost always our undoing.

    Another nice entry, Nene.

  2. Faith and its downside shaa.
    Thanks Nene for the enlightenment.

  3. I love the way Nene always dishes out her words of wisdom, after blasting you for your mumulity, she’ll then properly guide you on what to do.
    Generational curses passed through blood? This is the first I’m hearing this ooo, are you kidding me? All these uneducated pastors would just be leading children wey God create to their grave. Is that not the work of the devil? Eh?

    • shakespeareanwalter

      You gotta give Lucifer credit. Using the vessels of the Lord’s vineyard to perpetuate his cause.

    • Anyi, that day, my jaw slacked so much I needed support to hold it up. And I was still an intern then o. Guess what? The man is a lecturer in one of the tertiary institution in the South east.

  4. My friend’s dad went blind cos instead of treating his glaucoma, he preferred using the ‘holy’ water his pastor gave him.

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