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Complete the Hate Hustle

In a restaurant, I am sitting at a table with a woman. Of course, we share jokes and occasionally lean into each other to laugh with our foreheads almost touching – the same way we lean away from each other to throw our heads back in laughter. Intermittently, I reach out my hands to caress her knuckles with the pad of my thumb. At a point, she might twist a lock of my hair between her fingers while holding my gaze.

Maybe everyone loves the way my friend and I are “interacting”. Maybe some people stare at us – two women displaying signs of lesbian leanings – with scorn etched on their faces. Whatever happens, there is a possibility no one would confront us.

Let us imagine it were two men being this affectionate with each other. Would people be so accepting of them?

Selective homophobia is real! For some reason, society “tolerates” two women together, not two men together. Talk about double standards. Why is society willing to forgive gay women, not gay men?

From my conversations with heterosexual men, I have come to realise one thing: They are scared gay men would sexualise them and treat them the same way they treat women. They tell me things like, “I don’t want someone to rape my ass.” Beneath the veneer of “tough” masculinity lurks fear. Here I was thinking masculinity were as tough as diamond.

If you are okay with two women together, you should be okay with two men together, vice versa. Homophobia is homophobia. Do not be homophobic when convenient.

Truly, I do not understand what stirs hate in the hearts of these homophobes. You need a sane reason to be homophobic. Oops! A phobia is an irrational fear or dislike – there cannot be a sane reason. If only they could set aside their prejudice and ask themselves, “How are gay people hurting people?” “It’s disgusting,” is not enough reason. What about love triggers hate and disgust? No day passes without me tossing this question against the walls of my mind in a bid to get a sensible answer thrown right back at me.

Complete the hate hustle! Let us know you hate something that is not hurting you.

The point of this article is not to dissuade you from being prejudiced. Far from it. It is okay to have whatever prejudice, but keep it inside your chest. Keep it to yourself. Leave God – whichever god you believe in – to do his/her/its job. Do not let your hate make you hurt someone that is not hurting you in any way; that is all I ask.

Thanks.

P.S. It is dumb to say, “I am homophobic. I hate the act, not gay people”. Here is the definition of homophobia: “The fear and dislike of homosexuals.”

Some people would dredge up words of scripture to back their hateful stance while forgetting those books are not guidelines for morality. Any book that supports all forms of oppression is hardly a guideline for morality. Were it so, Nigeria – very religious Nigeria – would not have one of the highest rates of corruption in the world. Funny enough, that same Leviticus (Lev 11: 9-12) says no one should eat catfish, crayfish, shrimps, oysters, and lobsters; no one should touch women on their periods, however, we do these things. So, we are all going to hell then.

Books preaching peace and love are the basis of prejudice. Sadly, these prejudices are based on factors individuals did not choose. Do you think people choose behaviours that ostracise them in society?

Then that part of the Nigerian constitution that says “fourteen years”. Ha! No wonder they say the best place to hide something from a Nigerian is in a book. How many people have taken their time to read the Nigerian Criminal Code Act Chapter 77 Part VI, Chapter 21? It states anyone that “has carnal knowledge of any person against the order of nature” is culpable. Yet some heterosexual people have anal and oral sex – these are unnatural sexual acts – and no one is freaking out. They use lube the same way gay men use lube. I really do not understand.

But seriously, how are people homophobic whilst indulging in unnatural sexual acts with their opposite-sex partners? The hypocrisy!

Written by Cisi Eze


About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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10 comments

  1. The first time I heard about sex as a kid my response was a shocked “ewww”. I wonder what is not disgusting about sex as a whole. In fact the human body itself is disgusting. Fun fact: every healthy human being is walking around with faeces inside them. We are literally full of shit. LOL! Tell me one thing that is universally disgusting! Strange phenomenon that when a group of people HAPPEN to be disgusted by similar things, it becomes the basis for hatred. Human behaviour is so complex; it actually amuses me. There are bad people and there are good people in this world. Some are full of hate and “disgust” is just an opportunity for them to reveal to us who they really are.

  2. Cisi for president! Tell them.

  3. I can almost hear the sound of the whiplash from over here lol

  4. Speaking of how society generally reacts to gay men differently from how it reacts to lesbians, has anyone noticed something a little strange in how homosexuality and bestiality are treated in the Book of Leviticus?

    Besitiality: Men, don’t lie with animals. Women, don’t lie with animals.

    Homosexuality: Men, don’t lie with men…. What about the women? Nothing.

    This ‘partia’ did not start today. :'( :'(

  5. Selective tolerance. We’d watch lesbian porn but when it’s two men, dafuq?? Er..no. I honestly wish I understood it.

  6. Good day all. Wow, from the comments so far, it seems I’m going to be a minority voice here. So here goes nothing…
    First off, I’d like to state I’m a Catholic. Inasmuch as my church totally condemns homosexuality, I usually do not like to bring in religion while condemning it. I condemn it from a strictly moral sense, which I believe everyone can relate to, Christian or not.
    So that said, I’d like to also say I condemn homosexuality in both men and women. They are both wrong. Period. So there is no ‘partial homophobia’ for me. Also, my aversion to it doesn’t in any way stem from a fear that I could be raped by my fellow men one day. As an adult, I think I can protect myself from rape. I simply condemn it because it is morally wrong.
    Then you say we should embrace homosexuals because they are ‘in love’ and ‘hurting no one’. First, I believe true love bears fruits that are beneficial to individuals and society at large. A couple might claim to be in love, yet the husband abuses the wife, does their love make the abuse right? A brother and sister, or a mother and an adult son, or a father and an adult daughter might claim they are in love, does that make incest right? A serial killer might claim he just loves killing and can’t stop, does that make killing right? So love is not the question here, is the act itself morally right?
    Then you say homosexuals are hurting no one, I beg to differ. Firstly, they are hurting themselves. The anus is not designed to receive a penis but actually damages it, and some gay men actually need anal reconstruction at some point. Why would you hurt someone in the name of love? Secondly, gay marriages hurt the kids they raise. Though it is unintentional, but kids of gay marriages have been proven to be psychologically unstable and more likely to be dysfunctional in future because a gay marriage lacks the natural balance of a heterosexual marriage. Why would you hurt you kids in the name of love? And why are gay couples so eager to have children by adoption, but yet do not want to involve themselves in the natural process of having kids? Also, homosexuality hurts society. Apart from producing dysfunctional kids, it also denies society the ability to propagate itself. If everyone becomes gay, how is humanity supposed to continue existing? In the next hundred years, we would become extinct. Sure you might say it’s just 10% of all people, but its a slippery slope my friend. If it’s encouraged, that number could easily skyrocket tomorrow, jeopardizing our existence. It is best nipped in the bud.
    Finally I do believe we can love homosexuals and condemn the act itself, just as a mother can love her child and condemn the child for stealing. I also believe that God is the Ultimate Judge, but even He instructs us to correct the faults of our brethren in love. I totally condemn all hate, stigmatization and unjust treatment of gays, instead I say they should be loved as fellow humans, while we show them the errors and potential dangers of homosexual acts.
    Please pardon my epistle, I had a lot on my mind. I await you responses to my comments. God bless you all.

  7. Cisi for President. Nice post. Well written, very interesting, illuminating, informative and comprehensible.

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