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Visitor’s Corner

The Offshore Diaries (Entry 12)

This is a story about Sex, Viagra and Old Men. Out at sea, for some reason unbeknownst to me, libido is usually high, sometimes too high for comfort. This story begins at the tea room, the place where, while working at sea, all stories arise from. I’m at my unit, ...

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THE DADDY DIARIES (Entry 19)

“If you’ve told a child a thousand time and he still does not understand, then it is not the child that is the slow learner.” – Walter Barbie It has been brought to my notice that I’ve not updated this series for over three months and believe me, I join ...

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The Offshore Diaries (Entry 11)

It’s amazing how an activity can be done severally, often producing the same result, and still be looked upon with great anticipation and joy. When I eat ewa-agoyin with cold coke and Agege bread that’s soft like Aisha’s breasts, I know what to expect as regards taste, yet a river ...

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The Offshore Diaries (Entry 10)

There are so many things in life that beat understanding. An artiste starts a song by saying, “This gbedu is a problem,” and Nigerians who spend a lot of time trying to avoid trouble and who such an introduction should naturally scare away will still shout “DJ play am again” ...

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The Offshore Diaries (Entry 9)

I honestly believe that like sci-fi movies have been preaching from time immemorial, one day, machines will completely take over the world, leaving us in subservience to their every whim and caprice. It is already happening, if you look closely. You’ll want to send a message to your girlfriend, telling ...

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The Offshore Diaries (Entry 8)

Let me tell you a story involving karma and sex. Ehen! I knew it. Children of the world! I know this is the entry you’ll like. I have had to do this because someone came to my inbox and said, “Uncle Stephen, leave all this explanation of offshore life. Give ...

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The Offshore Diaries (Entry 7)

The risks of working at sea lurk at every corner like a predator waiting to prey on your carelessness and take you to the great beyond. Risk is a huge shareholder in the business of offshore drilling, and its powers are curtailed by always allowing common sense and intense safety, ...

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The Offshore Diaries (Entry 6)

What is the food like at sea? This is one of the one-thousand-and-forty-six-point-two-four questions I get and this entry shall attempt to answer it. If food is your problem in this life, then this place is your solution ground. One of the service-hand companies onboard is completely dedicated to cooking, ...

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The Offshore Diaries (Entry 5)

In the last year and half, a pair of gigantic scissors ripped through the fabric of the oil industry, slashing plenty jobs and leaving the industry in bits and pieces. This scissors was wielded by economic logic, as it was no longer viable to maintain such a large industry, seeing ...

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The Offshore Diaries (Entry 4)

Life here reads like Ecclesiastes 3 in the bible. There’s a time for everything. A time to come onboard and a time to go home. A time to come on shift and a time to close. A time to eat and a time to sleep. A time for tea breaks ...

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