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WHO WANTS BIG D**K?

There comes a time in every parent’s life (I imagine) when (s)he is confronted by the reality that the outside world has contributed to his child’s education with knowledge he doesn’t care for. There are all these kids in my compound, grandchildren and extra grandchildren of my landlady. Families who ...

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Where Is He Now?

Against the hauntingly beautiful soundtrack of Nilu’s Are You With Me, in an episode of Grey’s Anatomy Season 14, April Kepner – the only doctor in Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital who is a Bible-believing Christian – could be heard saying the following words: _____ “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabaachthani?” That’s what Jesus ...

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Surviving A World With People Like R. Kelly

I watched the ‘Surviving R. Kelly’ series yesterday. All six episodes of them. And I am traumatized. I dreamt about the man. I went to pee in the night twice and returned to continue dreaming about him, right into this morning. That guy is a soul snatcher. Ever wondered why ...

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I Expected Better From Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Than A Bitter Divorce Battle

It was supposed to be the love story of the new millennium — up there with Romeo and Juliet. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were the caring, sharing, rainbow family that was going to last forever and ever. Except they didn’t. Somewhere down the line, this relationship buckled, fractured and ...

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TRADITION AND THAT THING AROUND YOUR NECK

Many years ago, when I was still in secondary school, we were watching a Nollywood movie—my family and I. So, in the fashion most common to Nollywood movies, the girl got pregnant. To a child that has no knowledge of the science behind conception, it would have seemed as though ...

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SIX MINUTES OF INSECURITY

“Why do you feel this way?” “You think he may be competition?” “Do you think you are not good enough?” “Have you suddenly developed inferiority complex?” “Is that jealousy in you?” “Or is it that you do not want to be left…again?” These questions ran through my mind, but I ...

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Beyond The Powers of The Yoruba Demon

He called me repeatedly through the night. And I didn’t take his calls. My phone was on silent, so I didn’t hear it ringing. When I woke up, I saw the missed calls, all thirteen of them. Concern crept on me. Why would he have been calling so incessantly, this ...

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The Conscienceless Nigerian

And we spoke. Lowly me. And him, the scion of a nouveau riche family in Nigeria. “I was supposed to hit Naija yesterday but had to postpone it until next week.” “Why?” “I forgot to take my anti-malaria treatment and popsie insisted I take it before I come.” “Really? Me, ...

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Five Powerful Opinions Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Expressed On The Daily Show Interview

As with her interview with Hillary Clinton, when I finally watched Chimamanda’s Daily Show interview with Trevor Noah, I found it very delightful. Interesting, funny even, and very, very illuminating. Say what you will about Chimamanda Adichie, but she’s not wasteful with her opinions. And the world she aspires for ...

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EVERYTHING ABOUT YAHOO FRAUD WILL KILL YOU

I was finishing up a report when he walked into my office this evening, panic clearly written on his face. He was close to tears. His strides betrayed the distraughtness that wrung his soul. The distraughtness I’d come to recognize so well. I knew exactly what was wrong as soon ...

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