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Who Killed Mr. Edom? (Suspect 3)

SUSPECT THREE: Raliyat stepped into a room and owned it. Bamshak was in awe. In the Students’ Affairs Office, Raliyat commandeered an empty office used as storage space for students’ logbooks and both police officers stood on either side of the phone as ringing filled the room. “Hallo!” Mrs Atete’s ...

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THE HUSTLE OF A RAINBOW (Episode 8)

I was pretty excited for this year’s Valentine; y’all know what happened last year.  For the first time in my life, I actually have a Valentine – who likes me and isn’t playing me. So yeah, I’m pretty fucking happy. So my girlfriend and I spent Valentine’s Day together. Yes, ...

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WHEN ‘NO’ IS A WEAPON FOR YOUR OWN GOOD

Just a few weeks ago, we woke up to the viral video of two Nigerian military men, men who are charged with protecting our national interest and national borders from external coercion and intrusion, mercilessly beating a crippled man because he was putting on a Nigerian military camouflage. There have ...

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An Open Letter To Beyoncé

Culled from popsugar.com Dear Beyoncé, Hey queen. I’ve actually been wanting to write this for a while now, but I just couldn’t find the right words. No matter how hard I tried to gather my feelings and string sentences together, nothing seemed to properly convey what I wanted to say, ...

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Climbing Yemisi Aribisala’s Snail Tree

I was very curious about Yemisi Aribisala’s book, Long Throat Memoirs, when I first saw it online; those who know me personally already know I am very passionate about food and literature, and this book, which seemed to marry two of my favorite things, had me intrigued. I did a ...

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KEPT WOMAN

I hear the whispers I see your sneers The disdain in your eyes and the contempt your upturned noses fling at me. * “Side chick!” one hisses. “Ashawo”, the other snarls. “Husband-snatching witch,” the whole room choruses in unison. * But, I also see the fear Carelessly hidden behind your ...

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Who Killed Mr. Edom? (Suspect 2)

SUSPECT TWO: The name of the security officer who had found the murder victim was Halima, and the first impression Raliyat had of her was she had poor personal hygiene. Her dress was rumpled and unwashed, the pashmina around her neck was browner than it was black, and she had ...

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Too Much Wanks Spoil The Broth

So I’m at home on a Tuesday, two weeks ago, I think. I spent most of the morning masturbating. I get a call from my friend, a guy, asking me to come over, that he’s in town. An hour later, I’m still in my father’s house generally doing nothing. He ...

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Lady Gaga accused of being a goddess of Satan

Lady Gaga has been accused of ‘summoning the Devil’ at her Super Bowl performance by an alt-right group. InfoWars founder Alex Jones has claimed the superstar singer is a ‘spawn of Satan’ and part of the ‘New World Order’. In a warning to his followers on Facebook, he claimed Gaga ...

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IF I HEAR PIM!

We all, at one point in our lives, must have experienced this (directly or otherwise) while growing up: you notice an older relative doing something your prepubescent mind informs you—based on what moral codes you were brought up with—is wrong. You cannot understand why he’s engaged in something so wrong, ...

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