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Chronicles

THE WICKEDNESS THAT TOUCHED MY SOUL

I am Harry. I am nineteen years old, but I grew up way faster than I was supposed to. Even as I write this, I am not sure I want to talk about this. But I’m persevering because, if by doing so without shame, if it will have less power ...

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THAT ONE NA FIGHT?

“Shey your mouth don dey big pass your head abi? Na me you dey talk to like that?” “Say who you be? Wetin you fit do? Abeg gettout joor!” The brawl was a typical scenario on Boderin Street. Pedestrian traffic slowed down to watch halitosis-laden oral missiles fly between Braimoh ...

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MUCH ADO ABOUT MASTURBATION

The following is a chatversation between a brother in the Lord (who we’ll refer to as Pastor Chris) and a wanker (who we’ll refer to as Apostle). Lol. It is quite the interesting, amusing exchange. Check on it. * [5:12 PM, 3/29/2017] Pastor Chris: How far u [6:44 PM, 3/29/2017] ...

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SOMEBODY GO PAY

Sometimes I can’t believe some Nigerians. Especially the ones in uniform. I cannot believe the audacity, the privilege these Nigerians exert over other people’s hustle. So, minutes ago, I was at Oshodi waiting for the bus that would go my way. A few metres away from me was this woman ...

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PREY FOR ME (Part Two)

Previously on Prey For Me… * The running girl dashed along the wooden planks that made up the thoroughfares of Magodo K, traitorous heels telling her pursuers each corner she turned. The boys followed confidently, eyes wide in the gloom. They were more familiar with the slum, as they spent ...

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PREY FOR ME

They called it Magodo K. One of the most notorious slums deep in the heart of Lagos, by day, it was a riotous pool of sweaty hustlers and traders, stomping along its wooden paths and ducking into makeshift buildings to conduct transactions both fair and unfair. But by night, the ...

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WHEN ‘NO’ IS A WEAPON FOR YOUR OWN GOOD

Just a few weeks ago, we woke up to the viral video of two Nigerian military men, men who are charged with protecting our national interest and national borders from external coercion and intrusion, mercilessly beating a crippled man because he was putting on a Nigerian military camouflage. There have ...

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Too Much Wanks Spoil The Broth

So I’m at home on a Tuesday, two weeks ago, I think. I spent most of the morning masturbating. I get a call from my friend, a guy, asking me to come over, that he’s in town. An hour later, I’m still in my father’s house generally doing nothing. He ...

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TAKING CHANCES

Monday. 4:30AM. Lagos. Still an ungodly hour by your standards but you’ve got to work. The office doesn’t resume till 9AM but for you to have any hope of beating the traffic, you have to hit the road before 5:30AM or the gridlock on Third Mainland Bridge would ensure you ...

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THE WANKER

He sat there, tense, his eyes glued to the screen of his laptop, his entire senses enraptured by the pseudo-erotic sights and sounds coming from the naked actors writhing about before him. He was close. He could feel it, and the urgency had communicated itself so thoroughly, that his right ...

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