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According To The Bachelor…

George Clooney was an inspiration to many of us at “Bachelors’ Anonymous”. He was the real Career Bachelor. His decision to marry that human rights lawyer really hurt. Now we have to find another perennially unmarried male celebrity to look up to as a role model, we being Professional Bachelors. John Mayer, maybe?

Well, that’s by the way.

A few months ago, on a short visit to my family, I was approached one Sunday morning after service by one of my father’s friends, who said, “Hey, I am thirsty… When we wan go that girl village make I come shack beer? Shey you don be lawyer na”. I laughed it off and reminded him that my elder brother (who is way more handsome) was still unmarried. His words, however, gave a hint of societal expectations and aspirations. Society expects you to grow up, get an education, get a job, get married. For many females, changing their last names is life’s ultimate goal.

Marriage is overrated! There, I just said it. And before you all start quoting Genesis, accept the reality that society and its accompanying values now wear a different look. Infidelity is now a norm. Many a woman lack the attributes of a “helpmate”, how much more those of a mother. External influence from TV grows stronger by the day, and divorce proceedings have become as frequent as taking dumps. The concept of prenuptial agreements is gradually taking a foothold. This means that couples these days already anticipate divorce before they get to try out that tuxedo and gown.

The essence of this institution created by God has suffered. People are losing grip of their roles in marriages and what their priorities should be. Communication between couples is taking the back seat, what was regarded as the sharing of life has been reduced to the level of a contract. Something once so honourable, established by The Creator, is now part of immigration strategies – marriage for green card. Oh well…

With all this, tell me why I should take the plunge. Let’s all just ‘spew seed’ and make babies without the excess baggage that is marriage. (Yes, I love kids; I want one of my own someday soon) Marriage has long lost its meaning, it’s now more of a convenient arrangement than a union of heart and soul.

However, this is a quick-fire opinion though, a rush of blood to the head, it’s not a permanent stance. I will probably prioritize marriage again…when the waters of matrimony get less murky, that is.

Until then, here’s to ‘non-committal, mutually-beneficial physical interactions’ (for those who can’t afford the luxury of Celibacy). Cheers to “Bachelors’ Anonymous”! #ClinksGlasses

Written by Jerry Chi


About shakespeareanwalter

Walt Shakes(@Walt_Shakes) is an award-winning Nigerian writer, poet and veteran blogger. He is a lover of the written word. the faint whiff of nature, the flashing vista of movies, the warmth of companionship and the happy sound of laughter.

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10 comments

  1. Yea, society has been conditioned to think once you grow of age the next grave step to take is; marriage. They think marriage as the ultimate symbol of love and commitment. Wonderfully written.

  2. Jerry Jerry, *doffs hat*

  3. *****cheers***

  4. OHK Mr Jerry, you got my full, undivided attention with this very honest, pretty hilarious piece! Perennially unmarried male celeb ei??? Ouch! That’s just rich, brilliant! Perhaps you might wanna look to Leonardo Dicaprio, no? He’s never been married, at least as far as I know, I think! Plus, George was not always a bachelor, he’d been married once before! Wifey walked out on him and he was left heartbroken and devastated! So you might wanna look the way of a ‘greenhorn’ like Leonardo! LMAO

    So then, till the ‘waters of matrimony’ gets less murky, I raise my glass up and drink to that! Bottoms up! ROTFL

  5. Cheers bro gat a daughter already but marriage still not on d menu. *clinks glass*

  6. I have the perfect argument but then, it won’t make a difference…
    Being single is fun! For a while…ultimately, it isn’t good for a man to be alone. Marriage gives you that right to call somebody ‘mine’.
    The fact that it has been bastardized doesn’t make it any less beautiful when it is gotten right. And it isn’t bad to try, and if you fail, you know you tried. But never trying cos of fear of failure? Now that’s just sad…
    Or not trying cos everyone else is failing, that’s even worse! Does that mean you are going to fail like them? That you can’t get it right if you try enough? That you can’t be in the minority that will get it right?
    Oh well, I couldn’t help myself…i just had to rant…but I’ve stopped myself from going further

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