It is going to be very convenient to sit back and do armchair analysis of Tiwa and Teebillz’ marriage collapse. You’d see their errors and call it whatever. But most of us will make the mistake they made over and over again.
After Tiwa’s comments on issues, you’d come to the realization that these are two different persons who were united by a fantasy call celebrity lifestyle. It isn’t because the non-celebrity marriage is any better. But I can’t blame Tiwa’s vulnerability, neither would I blame Teebillz’ immaturity.
At the end of the day we must understand that every mistake we make has attached results. If you desperately move in with someone because they look good or because they kiss better, I assure you, in time of crisis, most of these things won’t matter. And marriage is so great an institution that glitz and glamour contribute nothing to making it better.
He is a good boyfriend may not make him a good husband. How does he manage his inadequacies? How does he react when things are out? How much are you worth to your partner? Would you agree with me that you may be happier as a single person than a married person? This is not religion. I mean, as a Christian, I don’t expect you to consciously have a child out of wedlock, but if we were not Christians and you felt you could cope better, isn’t that some alternate route?
The successful marriages have faults too. I learned that all safely landed flights were controlled crashes. That Omotola’s husband isn’t on Instagram sharing his thought doesn’t mean he doesn’t habour fears. And the woman too. People may cheat in marriage and still build up from where they made errors, but then it is not of equal strength, our traits. It varies. Someone may know something and live with it, others may not.
And drugs aren’t what someone just wakes up to. See, certain bad traits in your partners are perfected in marriage. If they are things you can’t cope with for long, stay away from it. Ask questions too. Don’t let another man’s progress drown you in self pity so much that you’d be desperate to get married.
Nothing is absolute. No amount of advice would help if you have also not decided that you want to be helped. A lot of us, creative people, are nice from afar and very mad inside. Some of us do a lot that people can’t tolerate inside marriage. Some of us are spontaneous.
I don’t know if this marriage would work again, but it shouldn’t be the end for both. Someone out there may tolerate Tiwa’s weaknesses. I believe there is no fire without smoke. Tiwa and Teebillz share this blame. No matter what I listen to from both parties, none would absolutely be wrong. Career must flourish.
Lots of men are called fowls and idiots when they see or are told of infidelities and they don’t react as expected. Some women have been called dumb Christians because they are not quick to anger or picking up a gun to shoot a threat. There is a lot in marriage that the fine smiles don’t reveal. We come into relationships with masks. Some die with it. Others get busted.
I wish everyone well. Wish me well too. I have my own issues.
This is the Facebook post of a friend, Bura-Bari Nwilo. Take a moment to ponder and let us know what you think.